The Blondes of Bel-Air

LILY

"Aren't you going to offer me something to drink?" Penny ran her small fingers over the marble countertop in my kitchen, then inspected them as though she were checking for dust.

"Go find your earring so you can get the hell out of my house!"

Penny shot me the dirtiest glare I'm sure she could muster and headed toward the bathroom inside the laundry room where Shayla suggested she look.

"Looking for her earring? Please!" I hissed to Edwin. "You know she's only here because she found out we were having this little soiree without her."

Edwin walked over to the subzero refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of organic aloe vera juice. "Should we offer Penny something to drink? I mean, homegirl has been rummaging around in the rocks and dirt out there and looking a little sweaty."

Gemma and Shayla burst into laughter and I couldn't help but giggle along with them.

"It is kind of bizarre that she sneaks over here in the middle of the night to what? Spy on us? I mean, how was she planning to spy on us from the ground two floors below your bedroom window?" Shayla piped in.

"Who knows why that crazy bitch does anything?" I grunted, craning my neck to see if Penny was lurking and listening. She was.

"You think I'm crazy? I'm NOT crazy! Don't EVER call me crazy!" Penny was back in the kitchen teetering on her usual too-high heels. "You all think you're so perfect and that you're better than everyone else. But you're just a bunch of posers!"

She stormed off in the direction of the grand staircase in the foyer, her shoes slapping against the floor reminded me of exploding firecrackers.

"Where do you think you're going, Penny? Get the hell out of my house now!" I could hear my voice boom and echo up to the high ceilings.

"I'm looking for my EARRING, remember? I should check your room, Lily! I bet it's in there. You're so jealous of me! Jealous that my daddy cares enough about me to buy me things just because he loves me! Your daddy probably doesn't even know how old you are, Lily! He's too busy with his campaign and his mistresses! He probably has another daughter somewhere that he lavishes all of his attention on!" Penny was halfway up the stairs when Gemma and I caught up to her.

"Oh no she didn't!" Edwin whispered to Shayla, loud enough for everyone to hear. "This is about to get u-g-l-y."

"You little bitch...." I thrust my arm out and gripped Penny's skinny forearm. "Don't you ever say anything about my father again!"

"Let go of me, you fame whore!" Penny squirmed, trying to break free of my tight grip, wobbling on her five-inch Valentino's.

"Fame whore? That's rich!" I snorted.

Edwin clapped his hands from the bottom step. "Catfight!"

"Should I talk about Gemma's father then?" Penny writhed, trying to free herself. "Where is he again? Oh yeah, you don't even know, do you, Gemma? He's a one-hit wonder and a deadbeat dad! No wonder why you're such a mean girl!"

Gemma reached up and slapped Penny across the face, leaving a bright red handprint on Penny's small cheek. My mouth fell open and I heard Shayla gasp at the bottom of the staircase.

"You're a fucking bitch, Penny!" Gemma screamed. She looked like she was going to explode, her face all red and eyes buggy. Beads of sweat clung to her hairline and her normally curly hair had turned to frizz. With that look on her face and her out-of-control hair, she looked like she had grown up in a forest, raised by animals.