This Life of Sin

Just Another Day

Chapter one: Just Another Day

My breath curled up, white before my eyes on the back end of another sigh. Probably my fifteenth of the day despite it not even being noon yet. Probably not the last either. But, hey, I was depressed! Better long-drawn-out sighs than wallowing in self pity and getting nothing done, right?

My current problem? The weather. I know, I know... who gets depressed over the weather? A farmer maybe? No doubt the early onset of below freezing temperatures bummed them out too but I didn't know too much about farming to really know that with confidence. No, I was not a farmer. I wasn't an anything really. Nope, just Cindy the homeless lady. And early winter was a big problem for me.

Early winter meant that I had to get my financial shit together fast. During the rest of the year, I was fine with roughing it on the streets. It wasn't ideal but it meant more freedom than the shelters and I kind of liked sleeping outside to be honest. But that was a big "N.O." in the winter. Frost bite was for real, and it was just miserable all-round! So, I had to scrape together so cash pronto. I'd have to get a hotel or motel room. Something at least.

I stuffed my stiff hands into my jeans pockets and resisted the urge to grind my teeth. At least I had a semi decent winter jacket this year. If there is a god than I'd thank him for volunteers and people kind enough to donate these things. I often wondered what it was like to be a "good" person. Personally, I dint prescribe to the whole black and white notion of "good" and "bad". My world was full of greys, and I liked it that way.

That being said, my grey was most likely on the darker shade. I've done bad things. Some bad ones too in my short thirty odd years of living. If there was a heaven, I probably wouldn't be getting into it. Then again, I didn't think I deserved an eternity in Hell either. Sure, I was a short, red headed bitch with more than a few personality flaws and skeletons in my nonexistent closet... but did that really mean I should be sentenced to a life (after life?) of damnation? I didn't think so. But I'm sure my opinion didn't much count either way.

Great, now the cold was making me go off on philosophical tangents. I let out another sigh and continued my melancholy trudge down the broken sidewalk. This was a shit part of town. The houses were old and unkept down the side streets, the telephone poles had sneakers hanging off them in semi regular intervals, most of them looking as if the laces tying them there would probably give out soon. Might mean a free pair of shores if I was lucky enough to be there when they gave out...

The shops I passed had rough exteriors, some with shitty graffiti and others with the good stuff- the cities attempt to make the downtown look maybe just a little less like a prime place to get mugged. The insides of the shops didn't look too bad though. Warm and inviting even if they were by no means fancy. The smell of pizza drifted out of Gazzi's Pizzeria as I passed, and my belly gave a slight rumble. The thing was too used to being empty to put in too much effort in complaining at this point. Still, id need to eat something soon. Preferably something warm.

I looked up at the grey clouds as I approached an intersection. Despite it being nearly noon, the traffic wasn't all that bad and the world around me was mostly quiet. For a city at least. I hated all the noise that was made in town but in town is where I needed to be. I had some survival skills, I had to with my life, or I would have died ages ago, but not enough to confidently say I could just get a tent and live my life as a hermit in the woods. Especially in the winter.

I lowered my eyes back down and just barely held in another sigh when I saw that the lights still hadn't changed. This was one of those crossings that always took forever... Across from me, facing the opposite cross walk, was a kid of about fifteen or sixteen. His high-end shoes told me he wasn't homeless just as well as his styled blonde hair did so I could only assume he was playing hooky. I didn't have a watch but if the schools had let out for lunch already than there would have been more kids and more cars about. There was a high school about ten mins away and Main Street was always flooded with kids at lunch looking to spend Mommy and Daddy's money on a burger and fries.