South Hazbins and the Murderous Misfortune of the Multiverse

So it begins

It was Monday morning in South Park,Colorado as an alarm went off in one of the rooms of the Marsh residence.

???:Ugh...five more minutes.

???:WAKE UP,TURD!

A pillow was thrown at the boy who wanted to sleep in for a little longer before getting up,rubbing his eyes.

This was Stan Marsh,who had put the pillow to the side before getting off from his bed after his older sister woke up,rudely.

Stan:Alright,I'm up! Jeez!

After putting on his iconic poofball hat,getting dressed in his usual clothes (that of a brown coat,blue pants,and red mittens),he had eaten breakfast and walked to the bus stop where he usually met his friends,Kyle,Kenny,and Butters (yes,even Cartman) but noticed fatass wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Stan:Hey,guys!

Kyle:Oh,hey dude!

Butters:Hi,Stan.

Stan:So,I was wondering after school,if you guys wanted to go to the movies with me. I heard the new movie that's out is...wait where's Cartman?

Kenny:(muffled) Probably still getting ready. You think he's still eating breakfast?

Kyle:I wouldn't be suprised. After all,he is such a huge fatass.

Cartman:Aye,don't call me fat,you fucking jew! You guys aren't going to believe what I just saw.

Cartman had finally arrived but he was sweating heavily for some reason as he looked from all sides to see if anyone else was listening.

Butters:A shooting star?

Stan:A hundred dollar bill?

Kenny:(muffled)A workout video on how to lose weight?

Stan,Kyle,and Butters all began laughing at Kenny's joke,poking fun at Cartman's weight with Cartman glaring at Kenny for making him of his body.

He wasn't fat,he always said. He was big boned.

Cartman:Oh,very funny,Kinny! But this is serious,you guys! I'm talking an Avenger's level threat! I found something-

However,the bus had arrived to take the quintet to South Park Elementary.

Unfortunately,the loud chatter in the bus made it impossible for Cartman to finish what he was going to say.

Stan,Kyle,Kenny,Cartman,and Butters had finally got off the bus and headed inside the school.

Skip to Lunch Time...

Stan:So,what were you going to say,fatass?

Cartman looked around left and right,making sure no one else was listening to him. He didn't want anyone else thinking he was crazy. Well,technically some people already thought he was crazy...and fat. But that's besides the point!

Cartman:What? Oh,right. I don't want anyone eavesdropping on us so I'll tell you guys after school is over.

Stan:Oh,come on! Why can't you just tell us,right now?

Cartman:Because,you called me a fatass! And...it was quiet rude and hurt my feelings. But I'll say is that,it's something big.

Butters:Wait,let me guess...did you get a new video game,Eric?

Cartman:Even bigger than that,Butters.

Stan:Did you get a million dollars and inherited another amusement park?

Cartman:Bigger.

Kyle:This better not be any of your get half-assed schemes that almost gets us all killed.

Cartman:Kahl.Buddy...when has that ever happened?

Stan,Kyle,Kenny,and Butters all looked at Cartman with an expression on their faces that said "really" before continuing on with the conversation.

Kenny:(muffled)Well...

Cartman:Don't answer! Look,I'm gonna say is that it's gonna be one helluva adventure. Even more than those times we saved South Park from that Nazi Zombie Virus.

Stan,Kyle,Kenny,and Butters doubted his words at first but eventually they were somewhat invested in what Eric had to show them.

After School...

The quintet had all got off the school bus and were finished with school.

They were lucky that Mr.Garrison decided to not give them homework today and had followed Cartman to his house.

After they watched some Terrence and Philip,played the new Mortal Kombat that was out,and ate some snacks Mrs.Cartman had provided for the boys,it was finally dark outside.

Butters:(sighs) Y'know,today's actually been a pretty good day,eh fellas?

Stan:I second it,Butters.

Kyle:So,was this the big suprise you were talking about,Cartman?

Cartman:Nah,I just wanted you guys to not get cranky about being hungry and chill out before I show what I just found.

Kenny:(muffled) Okay...so spill.

Stan:Yeah,what is it? You said you were going to show us what it was after school. And it's getting dark out.

Cartman:Not to worry,Stan. I'm just about to show you guys what it is. But in case it gets weird,you guys miiiiight wanna make sure you've got all your "special" clothes,food,and items on you. All the good shit.

After Stan,Kyle,Kenny,and Butters had made sure they had everything in their disposal (food,items,"special" clothes, and weapons if they had to defend themselves),they had followed Cartman into the woods,with them leaving stuffed animals to pose in each others bed in case their parents got suspicious.

Kenny was holding a flash light,making sure Stan,Kyle,Cartman,and Butters could see in the woods. They didn't want any animals to attack them or something.

Cartman:Ok,we're here,you guys.

The quintet then feasted their eyes on a red portal flashing vibrantly in the middle of the woods and all gasped in awe.

Stan,Kyle,Kenny,and Butters:Woah!

Cartman:I know,right? You think we should go in?

Kyle:What? Are you crazy? We don't what that is. And besides,we don't know if we'll come back once we go in.

Stan:I'm with Kyle. We don't know where that portal could lead us too.

Butters:Yeah,I-I'm with you fellas. Besides if my parents find out I went to some alternate universe without their permission,I'm gonna get grounded!

Cartman:Ah,come on,you guys! Don't be wet blankets! Besides,if we go into this portal and discover something supernatural is going on,we can tell it to the government and then we'll be heroes. It'll be soooo kewl.

Kenny then thought for a second as he looked into that portal,into that environment and felt it looked strangely familiar but somewhat different for some reason.

Kenny:(muffled) I don't know,dude.

Cartman:Come on,pweety please? I gave you guys a good time after all.

The boys then thought about for a second. Cartman wasn't wrong,they did have some fun at his house up until he revealed what the suprise was.

They all sighed in defeat.

Stan,Kyle,Kenny,and Butters:Fine.

Cartman:Hehe,alright! Let's do this,RPG style! Or something.

They all entered the red portal,not knowing what they had gotten themselves into as it began to swirl a bright red as they all screamed before it closed.