SUPERHERO. x bts series

13.

like a coward
i want to hide away
from the tragedy
that is us
away from the misery
that tore us apart

part thirteen.

masked

stepping out
past the large, pale blue
overhead sign
written pharmacy,
i catch the soles of my foot
and decide to drop by
somewhere.

i had my reason for seeing
her today,
even if it was
in the dark to do so.

well,
with the
hope she wouldn't catch me
looking.

as i went past her house,
my eyes were only
at the top floor
on her bedroom window.

the wind slightly tickles
its white sheer curtains.
the window was opened,
allowing me
to see clearer.

standing for a solid minute,
the gloss in my eyes
started to hurt.

'masked guy!'

her voice graces me,
and i instantly spin around.

oh no.

'what are those behind you?
can i look?'

no,
you cannot.

her round eyes
almost immediately,
softened.

my breath was hitched,
and my heart dropped,
being instantly ripped apart.

i could read her eyes,
that pair of eyes that seems
to only look at me.

she meant
she understood me,
past my lies. 
past the facade i had
tried to put through.

my eyes were in pain
and my sight
turns into a blur.

'you're just feeling lonely,
you don't need-'

"you do know
how it feels, right?"

a pause i give,
"the unpleasant terror
i had to endure
all the time.
you felt it.
i felt it,
despite countless pills
i popped
to make myself 
feel better."

her eyes,
darkened,
lips folded
pale pink and purple outlines.

"there isn't anyone
that i have.
no one.
not a single,
fucking,
soul."

"and
if you understood me,
why won't you
let me be?"

i stepped away
when
her eyes suddenly flashed
a hint of anger,
her lips slightly apart
at what i said.

our eyes stay connected.

her disheveled hair,
mismatched slippers
and chapped lips
were
no longer my main concern.

but i know someday
i had to let her know
i was not happy with
anything 
i was feeling.

because everything 
was simply
inconsolable.

and that day, is today.
the day i stop pretending.

as the selfish person i am,
i had enough to say
i was not contented
with myself and my life.

"i am egocentric,
selfish, disgusting.
because all i thought
was about myself,
and i didn't think about
your feelings."

lies.

i only want you to be
happy,
even if i am not around.

we were
locking gazes;
ticking seconds develop
into a long minute.

sad looking eyes are
the most observant,
they slowly unravel
the truth and keep silent.

and
suddenly, 
everything went blank.

she moved in
and kissed me gently.

the more time we spent
in our locked lips,

her lips,
i imagined it to be soft,
but what was i thinking?

the time lost in each other
became
dangerously long.

i was gone in her warmth.

why haven't i ran out
of breath?

and...

it was unexpectedly
bold of her to do that.

it was new,
refreshing
that she had dared herself to do.

'i can see that
you're not happy,
but don't you already know?
that i feel the same way
as you do.'

'that i can never live without you.'

"elise,
we may think the same,
we may be aligned...
but we were never meant
to meet.
neither should we have wished
for
the same outcome.

i would kill myself,
you wouldn't.

so what do you think we are?"

that was the last thing
i had to say.

could i have turned around
and stop myself
if only things could be better
for her?

like a coward
i want to hide away
from the tragedy
that is us
away from the misery
that tore us apart.

but before i knew it,
i fell to the floor
against my will.

i fell with her arms
locked around me.

in the end,
i still needed her.

suddenly,
everything
was black.

again?

++

a/n:

the italic words above was just his imagination, he fainted if you realised..