Steroline: Even Now

Almost Perfect

Caroline's POV~

I look over Hope's head and towards Josie, her face showing that she's completely serious. I pull away from Hope and walk her over to the couch where she sits down and leans into me. I shift my gaze to Josie, asking her for an explanation with my eyes. 

"It's about Landon. He's dead."

I sit there frozen for a minute, then look over at Stefan before quickly glancing away. I hug her even tighter, and she just sits in my arms crying. "I thought that I should bring her here. After all, you've been through the exact same thing." She explains to me. 

We stay in that position until Hope lifts her head up, looking straight at me, terrified. "That's not all," she whispers. "He's gone, " she pauses, choking on her words, "and I'm pregnant." I look at her in complete horror. 

I know exactly what that's like, and no one should have to go through it. It's horrible knowing that your child or children will never meet their father. It's something I wouldn't wish on anybody. 

 "I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I know it feels like you're dying, and I know that you feel like you'll never be okay again. If I'm being honest, you won't be. You'll feel the hole that they left you behind with every day. You will pray and wish for them to come back to you for a while, then you realise that even if they did come back, is it actually them. That after all of the crap that you've been through in the supernatural world, that it probably wouldn't be them. That you're not lucky enough for the world to allow that to happen. It sucks, like hell, but when the little one or little ones come along, you realise that it was all worth it. In the end, you realise that they've become your reason to keep going. Just keep going for them, and one day, you'll look at your newborns faces, and you'll know that you are where you are meant to be." 

I sit there with her, letting my words sink in. Finally looking around the room, I can tell that everyone's eyes are on me. She leans further into me and whispers a quiet thank you under her breath, her eyes beginning to flutter. 

I help her up after a moment, proceeding to lead her up the stairs. We walk through the hallway towards a white door with beautiful flower paintings on it. It shows intricately designed and placed pastel blue hydrangeas with a variety of other light-coloured flowers in the background. The words on the door display 'Guest Room' in swirly black writing. 

I help her onto the bed, pulling the covers over as she's already half-asleep. I stand and look at her for a moment, seeing myself in her. Though I don't know if that's because I've been where she is now, or simply just because she and I are similar. I don't know Hope super well, but we had become close during the little time we spent together all those years ago when the Salvatore School was just beginning. 

A few minutes later, I find myself back downstairs suddenly being bombarded with questions. I can't keep up with everything they are asking because they were all literally yelling into my ears. Only when I hear someone shout at them to stop do I look up. 

It was Stefan who had shut them all down. He was looking at me and I knew that we had to talk. It was really him; Lizzie wouldn't have brought him here if he wasn't. 

"Follow me, I know we need to talk." With that Stefan and I head upstairs, walking into my room. I slowly close the door, preparing myself for what comes next. 

I had imagined what I would say when put in this situation many times before, but I always thought that it would be with Damon or Elena. Having this conversation with Stefan, well, that was something I had never previously considered. I'm scared. More than I've ever been before, and I didn't anticipate how awkward it would be coming into it.

He sits on the side of my bed, staring at the floor. He doesn't look up at me until I sit down next to him leaving just a few inches between us. We stare into each other's eyes for this one perfect moment, but I push myself to turn away. 

"So, the kids, they're mine?" He asks, but I can tell that he already knew. I nod my head, still looking forward. "Look Caroline, I'm not going to sit here asking questions when it's so obviously awkward for you. To be able to be in their life means that we have to get along, but I love you. I will always love you. I don't know if that's how you still feel, and I know that a lot has changed. I get it, but I need you to tell me how you are feeling to be able to get anywhere. I know that this is straight to the point, but I need to ask. Do you still love me and want to be with me?"

I knew he was going to ask this, but instead of the lie that has been coming together in my head I just tell him the truth. 

"Of course, I still love you. You're a complete moron if you think otherwise, but like you said, things have changed. If we're going to do this, we'll have to do it with caution, for the kids. They know all about you. I've told them story after story, but they don't know your name or face. I wanted to keep them out of it, so I just never told them the details. The kids can't know you're their father until they get to know you properly. They're sensitive kids with big hearts, even though they can try to hide it sometimes. I want them to like you on their own, not just because you're their dad. The last condition is that they can't know that we are together. I don't want them to think that I'm betraying their father. When the time is right then sure. Plus, we're still married after all," I tell him, pulling my hand up to show my ring. He laughs at that.

All of a sudden, it was like he had never died. Like he had never been gone. 

We were laughing together again. After all this time. I felt at peace with the world, for the first time in far too long. Then he carefully holds my face in his hands and pulls me in to a soft but meaningful kiss. It was almost perfect. I get up to sit on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. Explaining everything else he needed to know through it. He too, was saying all he needed to through the physical contact. It was almost perfect. Almost.