Mirabel angst oneshots

"im fine" pt.2 TW: SELF HARM

Mirabel walked back to casita as fast as she could but also slow enough that she didn't draw attention to herself, that was the last thing she needed. She was so stupid letting her anger get the best of her.

Mirabel slowly faded out of the world zoning out but still able to walk.

She shouted at her sister who was only trying to help, God was she a failure, she ruins everything, she ruined casita, she ruined the perfect family image, she should just stay on the sidelines where she can't be seen.

She wished that she could be able to do something as magnificent as her family but all she is good at is getting in the way, getting in everyone's way so maybe she should just stop, but how can she stop? She's being trying for ages but no matter what she still finds herself trying to proves she's worthy, she knows she doesn't need to do that anymore after all her Abuela accepted her but she couldn't help but feel that way.

She didn't know how to stop it or if there was even a way too, Her thoughts were swirling around her head like a hurricane but one word stuck with her well rather a sentence one she wished she hadn't heard as she can't stop thinking about it.

'Kill yourself' The voice says like a never ending loop that can't be stopped. When she first heard the voice she was 7 and all alone being forgotten once again, she was in the nursery drawing when she heard a voice saying 'they will never care for you' Though it was not one that you would hear like someone saying it she still looked around the room to find nothing- no one else was in the room but her.

It was when she heard the voice again that she realised that it was herself, a little nagging voice at the back of her head. She grew to learn that it liked appearing at whatever time but mostly when she was vulnerable, It liked to even mess with her around others and sometimes she would just crack, She could just be talking to someone and she was fine but then the voice came and it made her break until she finally cracked and she shouted for it to go away though it never listened of course it wouldn't, and then the person who she was talking would ask her if she was okay, or to not talk to them like that and she didn't like all the prodding so every single time she ran.

She always ran, she couldn't handle it. Mirabel would run to the nursery and fall straight away, her façade that she had spent 2 years building up being completely destroyed. The façade that she started build at 5 and now that ended at 7, it took years to build it but seconds to break it, how funny was that?

Mirabel quickly shook her head, she couldn't be thinking about this right now, she wasn't even home- saying that she refocused on the world and noticed that she was at the front door, she sighed and put up a façade that would most likely fall in seconds if anyone were to ask anything.

The doors opened, and she smiled at the house, one that didn't reach her eyes and waved with a meek little Hola before walking in the house signing deeply, she was so tired of faking of being okay, she didn't think she could do it anymore, She just wanted to give up.

Shaking her head once again of the thought she looked around, no one there to greet her or pester her, she relaxed a little and ran straight to the nursery, she knew most were probably just finishing up on their chores so she had to be quick and hopefully it would make the voices stop for the rest of the night.

Shutting the nursery door and locking it she went to the draw and got out her pain reliever, she slowly dragged up her sleeves careful of the previous scars that had been placed on her skin the night before and long ago, she traced the scars and cuts with her fingertips wincing every now and again before finally placing the razor blade against her skin and making new scars.

Mirabel noticed a change almost instantly, the world had become a lot quitter and the voice vanished like it was never there to begin with, and at that she could finally let herself fully relax until she heard a knock on the door she panicked and looked at her arm, noticing the many new scars littering over it as well as the other.