A Different Slice

8.2 - Cinnamon Buns (Kieran)

"That's depressing as hell." As Naomi's shoulders slumped, he added, "For you. Sex with the person you're into can be amazing. But it's unfair you don't experience that."

"It's part of who I am. Some people hate running, and it gives me an enormous boost. I would hate to hate running."

"Hating running is not so bad," Kieran partially joked, which made her smile. "Are there any parts of intimacy that aren't awful for you? You said you like kissing and cuddling, right?"

She switched her basket to the other arm as an older man walked by. Once he was down another aisle, she said, "I wouldn't say the other parts are awful or I hate them. They just don't live up to the hype for me. Kissing and cuddling are nice, as long as it doesn't move too fast. If does, my mind focuses on what's next, and I obsess over it and can't enjoy being with the person."

"Sounds like you gotta be the boss of the relationship."

"Guys love that," Naomi deadpanned.

"Depending on how you play it, it could be hot."

She stared at the ground. "Nothing hotter than your ace partner putting the brakes on your fantasies, right?"

"If it makes you uneasy, it's not a great experience for the other person or shouldn't be."

Naomi's wide-eyed gaze fixed on him before she snapped back to her composed self. "That's what I mean. No matter how much I love someone, it'll never match their vision of allosexual love. That lock the door, can't keep your hands off each other honeymoon phase I'll never experience or reciprocate."

It was a glorious phrase. He'd lived through it in Kingston and experienced the physical aspect with a few women since moving here, although it was never the same as with Katy. But if Naomi craved that emotional and romantic connection, there had to be others in her boat. "There are other asexual people, right? That one percent. Then you'd never have to sleep together. That's gotta be worth a shot."

"But I'm in love with Greg." Naomi took deep breaths as tears slid down her face. She wiped them away and apologized. A woman left the cereal aisle and glanced at them both. Naomi gave her a subtle thumbs up, and she moved on.

Just when Kieran thought he couldn't fail any worse at this. No wonder he had no other friends than Jake and Brinny. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this conversation to get so intense. Do you want a hug or is that like asking you to go to second base?"

A tear clung to the corner of her left eye as she stared at him. The seconds passed like hours as he regretted his words. "A hug would be nice."

After they set their shopping baskets down, she wrapped her arms around his torso. She was tall enough to lean her head against his shoulder, bringing a fruity shampoo scent to him. He tried to focus on the fact that she was upset, and not on her attractive body pressed into him. Her breathing slowed, and she held onto him for longer than he expected.

He hated to admit it, but it'd been years since he'd embraced someone like this just to reassure them. Jake wasn't emotional or physical, and with Brinny, hooking up with her always lingered in his mind.

When Naomi pulled away, her gaze remained on his face, a subdued smile on hers. "I'm sorry I'm an absolute mess, hugging strangers in the frozen food aisle."

She straightened out her sweater as she picked up her basket.

"Near strangers. And it's all good, you're not a mess. It's hard to tell people truths they don't want to hear that you can't change." He had his own he kept from Brinny, but by doing so he was also keeping a promise to Jake.