ℝ𝔼ℂ𝕂𝕃𝔼𝕊𝕊 ➵ o. kenobi {my only hope; book 2}

【 NINETEEN 】

     ɪ ꜰᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀɴᴀᴋɪɴ ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʀᴏᴏᴍꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀʀᴍɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴏᴜɴᴅ. He was fiddling with one of the machines, determinedly keeping his eyes off of me. The hurt and anger were emanating off of him in waves, containing emotion stronger than I'd ever felt coming from someone. Deciding I'd come at the right time, I held one of the cups of water I'd brought, offering it towards him.

"I brought you some water," I told him softly. "You thirsty?"

Anakin didn't meet my eyes. He continued to play around with the machine he was working on until he finally took a deep breath and spoke. "The shifter broke," he told me, not saying anything about the drink I'd brought him. I pulled the cup back to my chest as he went on. "Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things." I set his cup down in front of him, not wanting to interrupt as he got his words off his chest. "I'm good at fixing things," he said. "Always was. But I couldn't..."

I took a sip of water as I realized where he was going with this.

"Why did she have to die?" Anakin whispered mournfully as he finally looked at me, dropping his tool to the ground. His eyes were full of tears, and on top of that, leftover rage. He shook his head, his mouth pressed into a thin line as he tried not to cry. "Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have!"

He whirled around and took a few steps in the other direction. I could see his hands clenched at his sides, and decided to give him some space. I jumped on top of the machine he'd been fixing, taking a seat on its flat surface. "I felt the same way when Qui-Gon died. Did you know that?" I asked him gently. When he didn't respond, I went on. "I understand how you feel. It's painful to lose someone you love. But sometimes there are things no one can fix. Even Jedi." I cocked my head, staring at his back. "We aren't all-powerful, Ani."

"Well, I should be!" He snapped back instantly, trembling. As he took a shaky breath in, he went on. "Someday, I will be. I will be the most powerful Jedi ever!" He whirled around again, and I was startled by the amount of hatred in his eyes, but more than that, concerned. I felt like I was looking into a mirror... looking at myself the day I'd nearly killed Jango Fett.

"I promise you," Anakin went on, his voice seething, "I will even learn to stop people from dying!"

"Anakin-" I began soothingly.

He ignored me. "It's all Obi-Wan's fault!" He cried, tears finally spilling from his eyes. "He's jealous! He's holding me back!" He picked up a piece of scrap metal and hurled it into the next room. It clattered to the ground like a loud, reverberating bang, but I wasn't paying attention to it. Neither was Anakin. The boy began to pace, and I took a couple of steps toward him.

"I understand your frustration," I told him. "It hurts when people you care about die. Trust me, I know. But I don't want that to be a reason you go down a dark path. You still have people who love you now. Me, Padmé, Obi-Wan... you have a reason to stay light."

Anakin shook his head desperately. "You don't understand, Emmy."

I took another step forward, crossing my arms seriously. "Try me."

The boy looked over at me, startled by my sudden challenge. Then he shook his head again, looking away from me. He sniffled once. "I don't want you to think any less of me."

Last step forward. I closed the distance between the two of us and put a sisterly hand on his back, rubbing it soothingly. "Not possible," I insisted.

Anakin was trembling. "I..." he said finally. "I killed them." He took another shuddering breath in. "I killed them all. They're dead. Every single one of them." He finally turned around, slow enough that every second was agonizing. He looked me deep in the eyes, pained. "And not just the men," he went on, "but the women and the children, too." He squinted his eyes desperately, as if horrified by himself. "They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals!" His lip trembled. "I hate them!"