The Purity Of Grace |A Stiles Stilinski Love Story|

Chapter Twenty Two

——Stiles Stilinski——

Stiles drove me to my cabin after he let me cry on his shoulder for almost thirty minutes. And, when I was okay enough to feel like I could walk he offer to take me home. I put the GPS on my phone so he could follow it because I did not trust myself to speak. In fact, I did not speak for the whole car ride and I still have not spoken, I haven't cried either. That's a good thing. Stiles is sitting her across from me on my couch, he refuses to leave until he knows I am okay. Even though, I never said he had to leave; I am actually grateful that he didn't go. I like him in my presences, I feel sheltered with him around me.

Charlie just kept telling me how "perfect" I was and that made everything trigger. At first it was just the voices talking at all once, at different tones about different things. I couldn't understand a word they were saying. He said it again then I could feel something run across my stomach and down my arms. I could see it, too. And, when said it for a third time I felt sick. All of that was happening at once. The crawling skin, the voices and the sick feeling, it became too overwhelming for me. So, overwhelming that I just had to tell Stiles about it. I did not go into detail, but it was enough to stop the feeling along with thinking of The Unholy Cause just a little bit.

"Are you feeling any better?" Stiles asks, concerned.

I sniffle then shake my head "No, I am not."

Tears begin to fall down my cheeks again. I cover my hands over my face as a quiet sob comes out. The couch sinks down beside me and Stiles hands gently grip onto my shoulders. He pulls me to him so my face is on his shoulder. I move my hands then bury my face into his shoulder. I am just sick of this going on, I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to be a normal teenage girl, I want to have fun, but I can't.

"Hey, whatever is going on I'm sure it's not that bad."

"But, it-it is."

I sob even more which makes Stiles holds me to him tighter and I start to feel better. I cry for a couple more minutes before I lift my head then wipe the tears from my face. Stiles hands me a tissue, I blow my nose then throw in the garbage bin next to me. Stiles moves his hand so it is resting on the top of my thigh, but I don't care at moment and I don't think I would care if it happened any other time.

"You can tell me if you want." Stiles says, quietly "You shouldn't have to keep a burden like this, let me help you carry it."

My eyes begin to brim with tears at the sweet words that comes pass his soft looking lips. I glance at his hazel brown eyes for a second to see he is being serious, he really cares. And, I only wish I could look into his eyes longer than just a few seconds. I want to actually have him inside of me for a while and let his kind look cleanse me on the inside. I want his look to make the pain that I feel numb  and make me forget everything inside for awhile. The luxury that I really want I can't have it because of this thing, I hate it. His touch is the only that keeps me sane at the moment and I am thankful that he is here. Maybe it is time I tell someone what I don't even understand completely myself yet; someone who will help me figure it out.

"My mother is a middle school teacher and my father is a pastor. So, you can only imagine how upset it gets when I read supernatural things." I explain, he needs to know some background "I remember also hearing them arguing, I never knew about what though. I always managed to block it by reading or just running which is how I mean the twins, running away from the chaos at home." I admit.

I lick my lips trying to wet my dry mouth and wipe the tears out of my eyes. I just have to explain how I remember all of this happening before I let him know the big thing. I need him to know the back story before he can know anything else because it will all make sense in the long run. It would save me some time, too, to get it out of way now.

I take a deep breath "From fourteen to sixteen the twins were my best friends, an escape from everything and I could rely on them for anything. They saved me from being attacked in the woods that same summer we met. Something was chasing me, Ethan had come out of nowhere and saved me even through I had gotten scratched, I was grateful...I pause, the memory sends chills down my spine "Aiden and I started dating shortly after we meant and continued for two years until the last day of summer. They just attacked me with sharp objects, cutting open my flesh to the bone practically." I shake my head and close my eyes tightly.

I take a deep breath then I look down on the floor in front of me where my Star Wars heels are. I don't want to break down in the middle of telling this story so I need to take a moment and breath. It is actually overwhelming once I think about it all together. I'm just relived it is over in my head about ten times and I can feel the pain as if it is happening right now.

"Then imagine after all as you are dying, a pressure settles in the pit of your stomach." I explain, I place my hand on my stomach "At first, I think it is them ending me by pushing their foot into my stomach, but it's not that at all." I continue, I still don't know what this thing is to this day "I blacked out then I remember being at home two weeks later reading my book completely healed, no marks with the twins watching TV on the bed on either side of me. Aiden with is arm around my shoulder, Ethan too focus on the show. I thought, maybe it was dream, but weird things started to happen to me and it never stops, now."

"What never stops, Payton?" Stiles speaks, quietly.

I look at his impatient and determined face to see that he really wants to know "Voices, the voices never stop."

His silences tells me that he is processing what I had just said; he didn't move or even seems a little bit shock. He is just sitting here with a concerned look still plastered all over his face. I take a deep as I assume that he is waiting for me to continue explaining what is going on with me and I am kind of scared that I am actually letting this known.

"It's not just voices." I pause "It moves, I can see it move. I seen gory things, I blurt out at random times when someone triggers a conversation in my head. It talks to me sometimes and then it makes me do terrible things, I can zone out for ages not being aware of my actions."

"Like you telling Ms. LeBlanc she is irrelevant, and the uncontrolled actions like Mr. B and Allison?" Stiles asks, trying to make sure he understands.

"Yes, and when I tell you that I don't remember getting here I don't. The first thing I remember about being here is when I heard a loud growl and then running here." I admit, honestly.

Stiles has a sudden look of realization on his face, but I am not in the mood to question him at this moment. I just want to be back in Stiles's arm again and me being sad is a perfect excuse for me being close to him.

"I knew that wasn't you for that week, you ignored me and when you were about to punch Bobby. That's why you didn't know what was going on, you didn't know. It was whatever is inside of." Stiles points out that week after I tired to kill Allison.

"I don't know what it is, all I know is that it is ruining my life." I say with my voice cracking.

A tear rolls down my cheek, Stiles wipes it away then I rest my face in the hollow of his neck taking in his Axe cologne. I place my hand on his chest  and Stiles wraps his arm around my waist. A couple of tears fall as Stiles rest his head on top of mine in a comforting way which makes me want to stay here in this spot forever. My heart is literally pounding out of my chest and I just keep imagining Stiles as being mine. I just want to sit here all day with him and listen to his sarcastic remarks. I want to kiss his red cheeks when he says something embarrassing and I want him to ramble nervously like the awkwardly adorable boy he is.

I just want him.

"I'll help you figure out whatever is going on with you." Stiles whispers, reassuringly in my ear "I promise, I won't stop until we find out and that I'll always be here." Stiles holds me tighter to him.

And, those words gives me the motivation to leave a sweet, soft kiss on his cheek. I smile as his cheeks flush a deep shade of red. I rest my forehead on the side of his cheek then place my hand on the other side of his neck with my eyes close. Stiles squeezes me into him which sends me in more comfort.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.