Devil's Gambit

Chapter 34

"Daniel, I-"

"The mortgage is nearly entirely paid off. Come on, you of all people would know it'd be stupid not to take a deal like that."

Lucas pursed his lips, blinking quickly as he stared blankly at his feet. He was already stripped raw emotionally, and Daniel's kindness was simply overwhelming. Lucas just nodded his head, an easy smile stretching across his face, but the frown lines around his mouth seemed much deeper than they ever had before.

"Thank you, Daniel. I don't know if I could leave this place yet, anyway. Too many good memories that outweigh the bad. We'll take care of it for you."

Reaching out, Daniel carefully pried the hammer Lucas was gripping out of his grasp, his eyes soft with sympathy. "Get some sleep, Lucas. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, Daniel," Lucas mumbled, watching as Daniel turned away and headed back up the stairs. Now alone in the entrance of the house, Lucas turned his back to the wall and slid down to the floor, pulling his long legs up to his chest. He sat for a moment in the silence, hearing the blood rushing in his ears as what was once the most lively area of the house now sat vacant and soulless. Lucas' eyes settled on the couch in front of the TV, where they would get together on weekends to drink and watch movies, Axel always laid out on the couch like it was a bed. His eyes then wandered to the stove, where Axel frequently stood to cook up something good for the household. Lucas could see him standing there, sweaty and always with a makeshift bandana headband to keep the hair out of his face, only to blink and be met with a dark emptiness.

Lucas couldn't stop his emotions now, and the tears just began to fall, and fall, streaming down his face as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. The grief flooded over him like a broken dam, suffocating him as he drowned in it, and his hiccupping lungs could no longer take in any air.

It'll probably hit me when I'm alone, and then I'll be okay again.

That's just how grief rears its ugly head. Lucas allowed himself to cry there on the floor, clinging to that assurance that he would be okay again.

After he managed to pull himself together, Lucas got up off the floor with a grunt, stiff joints and achy bones protesting with the movement. He must have been tensing his muscles all day without even realizing it, now finally paying the price in the first instance of calm waters.

Trudging up the stairs, he was looking forward to passing out in bed next to Harley, to finally put this horrific day to rest and focus on the new. When pushing through the door to what was once Harley's room, but more realistically is now their room, Lucas startled slightly at the darkened figure sitting upright, staring wistfully out the window.

"Hey," he whispered, inching forward slowly. Lucas wasn't exactly sure if he was glad to see Harley up or not. He missed his boyfriend, but knew with the pain he was harboring, it was probably better for him to stay asleep.

"Hi," Harley replied in an even softer tone, turning his head to watch Lucas sit tentatively on the bed next to him. "You haven't gone to bed yet?"

"No," Lucas sighed, lacing his fingers together in his lap. "Daniel and I had to get something up to block the front entrance."

There was a choking silence after that, Harley returning his gaze back out the window as Lucas watched his eyes well up with tears, face scrunching up with the same despair he had worn all day.

"What do we do, Lucas?" He cried, lifting up his shoulder to wipe the tears from his cheeks with the fabric of his t-shirt. "We're just supposed to move on? Go to bed, get ready for the day, make breakfast- how can we be expected to just go back to routine? It all seems so horribly mundane, going through the motions as we did before, only now without Axel. I-" Harley choked on his next word, curling up into an even tighter ball as he started to lose himself.