RAGE AND PASSION [The Eligible Bachelors Series]

Chapter 03

Warning: This story may not be suitable for a very young age due to some unscripted words...

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TRAVIS' POV

I went back to my office and sat on my swivel chair, and then I frustratedly cupped my head, raking some of my hair.

What is happening to me? I was so confused. I could hardly believe that I was capable of committing such cruelty. I couldn't recognize myself anymore.

Each night, I felt like I was being possessed by a demon. I felt like I was losing my sanity. I don't know why I couldn't control myself, something demonic was taking control over my mind and my body, and then in the morning, I'd end up finding myself being through with the same mistake, over and over again. I wanted to apologize, but I don't think I deserve to be forgiven because even I couldn't accept what I did.

I couldn't even face her because I'm afraid that I might end up becoming a monster again, so I just kept my distance away from her for almost a week now. I isolated and drowned myself from work just to avoid her. I kept on figuring out how could I possibly reach out to her without being harsh, because the last time I tried, I almost got killed her. I'm so scared that I might end up doing the worst.

I have been hearing endless gossips about her, but I never believed those, not even once. I was blinded by my love for her, but at the same time, that love was also pushing me to want to know more. I was so guilty at that time when I hired someone to dig more about her, it was as if I was stubbing her from behind for not trusting her. Through the investigations, I found out that all the rumors were true. She grew up in an awful kind of family and was raised and taught at an early age to work at a strip club. Her family was illegally engaged in prostitution and gambling. But knowing all the truth, I chose to accept all of her bad past, confident enough that she had changed into something holy, only to find out that I was wrong. She cheated on me and I witnessed it just right in front of me, but I never hated her for that, Instead, I hate my self even more. Many questions in my mind kept bothering me- Why did she do that? Is there something wrong with me? Am I not enough?

I love Dannelle more than anything else in the universe and even if that would cost my life, I will never hesitate to sacrifice just for her and that is why I turned blind and ignore all of those and I'd love her even more with all of her flaws for who she is, even if she cheats on me multiple times, I will never hesitate to forgive her, but the pain was so raw, so I started to dosed myself with alcohol until I realized that over drinking was the reason why I was turning into a violent monster that no one could ever imagine, so I decided to stop drowning with too much. I admit, I was drunk a while ago but it was just one glass, thinking it won't cause any harm, little did I know, that glass would be enough to transform myself into a hideous monster which made me almost killed her again.

I don't understand what is going on with me. From now on, I won't drink anymore, not even a sip. I had experienced being too much drunk before but none of those did I ever turned into a violent one. I know myself, and I am very certain that I can never hurt anyone, especially never with Dannelle.

"Tama na! Patayin mo na lang ako! hindi ko na kaya!"

What she said keeps bothering me. I took a deep breath and slowly released. It helps lessen the troubles that keep tormenting me from the inside, it felt like I was stuck between rage and passion. My frustrations were driving me crazy.

"Sir, are you ok?" Thomas asked worriedly. I didn't even notice him entered my office.

"Huh?" I looked at him, baffled.