The Memory Playlist

Bulletproof Love

When Niki shifts, as she constantly does, I see my name along another curve, the one of her breasts to the small of her waist, and when I do I shut my eyes in contentment. She has branded my name and career onto her skin numerous times just to prove her love for me, none of which were necessary nor asked of. She's in love with me the way I am in love with her and it makes me feel incredibly peaceful knowing that her skin will have my name as long as I love her: forever.

Forever. Forever is a very long time.

And as I sit there in silence, the air settled and my brain sending my body to sleep and Niki completely at rest, I realize that I see myself with this girl forever and I acknowledge that might mean marriage;

And the thought doesn't deter me, it only makes me smile.

It. Has been. Excruciatingly. Boring. Without. Niki.

Since Niki went on tour right after me, there's nothing to do! I usually have to pray that one of the guys want to hang out our there's a photo shoot or an interview or something, but that's rare amongst slow times!

Zero suddenly jumps onto the couch. Yes, a distraction! I pet behind his ears and put his paws on his face, teasing him, but eventually I just get bored again and curl up with him.

I pick up my phone and start Tweeting with one hand. "Doing nothing today but curling up with Zero."

After a few minutes, people reply back with something along the lines of "hang out with me!" or "poor bored Andy" or something like that. Poor, bored me, indeed. I start looking at Niki's page, where she's posted a few pictures of her being on the bus with her band or something else. But as I'm about to click out, it says one new Tweet. So, I refresh the page and see Niki wrote:

"Anyone else get lady boners? Its not fair!"

I legitimately laugh out loud. "Lady boners?" What exactly is that?

I reply. "@xNikiSikkx Exactly what are lady boners, and how do you resolve them? ;)"

She replies again, after someone says Niki's a lucky girl. "@AndyBVB Lady boners are like manly boners babe! Learn your shit! x3"

"@xNikiSikkx I was unaware of this! But how would that even work if you're not a man..?"

"@AndyBVB I'll have to explain in a less public chat form and when Im not as busy (x Love you!"

"@xNikiSikkx Love you too, Baby Doll. <3"

The conversation is dropped. Dammit', more boredom.

I text the guys and see who's available, and Ashley and I decide to get together and go to a bar in town. So, I get moderately ready, then I grab my keys and head out to the bar.

After returning home a little buzzed, I stumble up to our room and flop into our bed. It feels so empty without Niki in it.

I call her, and of course we spend the next two hours talking. And I miss this too. Where Niki and I would sometimes just lay in bed together, facing each other, and talk. We'd talk about random, pointless shit, but we'd still talk. And there was never a moment where there was silence between us. I finally get to do it again today. We even start FaceTime-ing after a while, laying head by head to talk. Her make-up is smeared and her hair is disheveled from the show, but in this moment she is as beautiful as I've ever seen her.