Cat Eyes: Acrux [Book 2]

Chapter 29: The endless sorrow

"Not in this city..."

"Yes," she sighed heavily, "I'm leaving."

My world fell apart, but she didn't notice it. She smiled sadly but was also excited.

"Wow," was all I could mumble. "I-it's good for you from what I see."

"Yeah..." She looked down again.

How to stop her? I couldn't. I wanted her to be happy and to achieve her goals.

My lower lip trembled against my upper one as I tried to appear unaffected. My heart had tied a knot. It seemed it would kill me, but it was better if she got away from me. I had only brought her problems and sadness. Now she was smiling.

"I better... Bye." She turned around.

"Rosy," I called her involuntarily, my mouth seeming to rebel against my brain. I shook my head. "If you can, let me know if you arrived well..."

She smiled and nodded, walking away, taking my light with her, leaving me her sweet-smelling trail, and the world in darkness.

I began to breathe with difficulty. I was left hopeless. I was alone. I found myself walking around the barracks aimlessly, lost in thought.

Why?

I closed my eyes. It was worse than when I had dumped her. She left me of her own free will, and I deserved it. Yet I wanted to run after her, stop her, hug her, and ask her to stay, but no. There was no reason. I had no right. I never seemed to give her real joy. From time to time, her expression showed sadness and nostalgia.

But why? Why?!

"You need a year off," Tania sneered suddenly.

I was in one of the common rooms, completely overwhelmed. That was where I had ended up after walking.

"You have no idea," I replied coldly.

"Ugh. Men. I don't know why you complicate things. It's obvious what you feel."

What did I feel? Or rather, what did I want? Rosy, of course.

"Maybe, but..."

"But you think you are obligated to stand by another's side."

I frowned.

"It's not like that. She's not any other girl. It's not that simple."

"As you wish," she teased again.

Although she was right, I hadn't told her what I felt, and now more than ever, my reason and my body were determined by Rosy, even though Meadow was still special to me.

"You know what I think?" Tania added, turning around. "You love one of them as your woman and the other as your sister." She snapped her fingers. "You're welcome! I'm a genius, I know."

I knitted my eyebrows in confusion.

"Sister..." I reacted. Sure, something like that seemed to be.

She rolled her eyes.

"Ask yourself this question: Who do you imagine having intimate situations with without feeling uncomfortable? Because I know that men can imagine it with all women..."

"How exaggerated," Max complained as he entered.

I rested my elbows on my knees. I didn't want to talk anymore, but Tania's question was interesting. Obviously, I could imagine everything with Rosy, but with Meadow, things were not like that. I remembered that everything about her had caught my attention at the time, but now I felt clear that it was my curiosity because of her feminine nature and because they forbade us from being close. Of course, I liked her a lot, but it wasn't like with Rosy.