because of you - matt sturniolo

four, do not sniff her hair

chapter four, do not sniff her hair

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The Holy Trinity
Bitch : Felicity
Asshat : Juliette
Fish fillet : Finn

Asshat
Matt being in love with Felicity Chen for 22 minutes and 18 seconds
What

Bitch
Who is this
How did you even find this

Fish fillet
Long story short but their fans make edits of their funniest moments on tik tok and I fell into a bit of a rabbit hole

ANYWHO
Matt, the guy in the driver seat
He's a huge fan of your music and he wouldn't stop talking about you
Fifteen minutes into the video he started talking about how excited he was for Ultraviolence

Bitch
Wait I'm not at that part yet hold on

Asshat
You're watching the video right now?

Bitch
I have it playing in the background don't worry I can still talk

Asshat
But Finn just said he was talking about your music isn't that enough

Bitch
I want to hear about what specifically like which song he likes or his favourite album

Asshat
Is that important
You fucking narcissist

Bitch
Shut the fuck up
I wanna hear what the cute boy said about me

Asshat
Okay he is pretty cute

Fish fillet
🤨

Asshat
FOR FELICITY
you're the only man I love Finn

Fish fillet
Love you too

Bitch
Gross
Anyways
He's cute AND he's actually fan of my music?
I've had so many guys talk about me just for attention from my fans but Matt seems genuine

Fish fillet
Did you get to the part where he talks about he was gonna buy tickets for your show but missed the chance because of a lacrosse game

Bitch
I'm not there yet HOLD ON
I'm at the part where his brother told him to shut up because he was talking about me too much

Asshat
Cece
You should invite him to your release party

Bitch
Are you sure he'll go?

Fish fillet
Dumbass
You just watched him talk about you for a whole video and you're asking stupid questions like whether or not he'll go?
His brother is literally a fan of yours too why the fuck would they not go
INVITE THEM

Bitch
Okay I will
But I'll ask my manager because I don't want to spook them

Fish fillet
And if this doesn't work out, album number four is gonna be a masterpiece

Asshat
I will break up with you if you keep this up

Bitch
Don't worry Finn
You can channel that energy into your next movie

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new notification!

This is Felicity Chen's manager and we would like to invite you three to the Ultraviolence album release party! It will be held in LA at the...

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Everybody hates Chris
Nicky Minaj : Nick
Mega_Met44 : Matt
Adopted : Chris

Nicky Minaj
Guys
Like
You will not believe what just happened
You'll actually never believe it

Mega_Met44
Oh my god Nick get to the point
I can almost assure you
It's not that good
You're probably hyping up the dumbest thing ever like when you told us you got another Spotify playlist like

Nicky Minaj
Okay fine
Guess I won't tell you about how Felicity Chen's manager just texted the group account telling us we're invited to her album release party
That's what you get for not posting but whatever

Adopted
I just woke up
What the fuck is that sound

Nicky Minaj
Matt screaming about Felicity

Adopted
Fucks sake can he do that while I'm not sleeping

Nicky Minaj
So are we going

Adopted
Eh
I'm not bothered

Nicky Minaj
Oh the screaming stopped

Mega_Met44
Christopher Owen Sturniolo I will rip your eyeballs out if you make me miss my only chance to meet Felicity I will haunt you for the rest of your life and we will never EVER speak again

Adopted
Chill dude, I was just joking
Your Mattitude is showing
There's no way I'll let you miss this chance
You haven't talked about another girl since
Panera girl

Nicky Minaj
Right?
You made us eat at panera every day just to see her we are not letting you miss this chance
I'm fucking sick of eating there
Just don't do something weird like sniff her hair

Adopted
Oh my god change your wallpaper too

Nicky Minaj
And do not wear her merch there
Oh god
Is it too late to decline

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I doubt the Sturniolos, especially matt, would ever freak out and obsess like this but it's fun to imagine