FAUX REAL

37

My life is over. I'm going to get expelled. I'm going to have a big black mark on my permanent record. I'm not going to go to Harvard. I'm not going to go to any school. I'm going to be a failure. A disappointment. A poster child. They'll talk about me for years. The bright mind that could've changed the world. The girl who could've had it all. The girl who could've been a star among comets. My life is over and yet.. I don't feel anything. I should feel something. I should feel sad or worried or angry or anxious.

But I don't.

"It's mine," Jennie says, her tone even, free of any doubt, any second thought. "Those are mine."

"What are you doing?" I whisper, eyes wide as my gaze darts between her and Mrs. Patella. "They're-"

"She confiscated them from me earlier tonight," she continues with a shrug, taking a step forward. "They're mine."

What is she doing? Why is she doing this? Is she insane?

"Jen-"

"No." she looks over her shoulder, resolve in her eyes as she gives me a nod. "You don't need to protect me. It's fine." she turns back to Mrs. Patella. "She was just about to turn me in." A forced laugh. "Guess you beat her to it." she holds up her wrists. "To jail, I presume?"

I gawk at her, bewildered by her laissez-faire attitude. She's laughing? Making a joke out of this? She's going to get kicked out of school. She's going to lose her internship. She's going to lose everything. And for what? For me? She's not thinking clearly. She's not thinking at all.

"That's not true." I plead, rushing to her side.

"Will you shut up?!" she raises her voice, shooting me daggers, her entire disposition darkening "I don't need you to cover for me, okay? I can take care of my own problems, yeah?" With a locked jaw, she looks at Mrs. Patella. "What now?"

"Please follow me," Mrs. Patella says, shaking her head in disappointment. What?! "This trip is over for you. Let's go!"

"No!" I exclaim frantically, my heart clenching in my chest as I follow them to the door, the gabbing whispers of my classmates whirling around me. "She's lying to you! It's mine! The pills are mine."

Mrs. Patella stops, a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as she says, "Lisa, dear, I think it is very admirable that you don't want to get your friend into trouble but-"

"But nothing!" I say, frustration oozing from my pores. "It's me. Really! She is covering for me!"

"Go now." Mrs. Patella lets out a sigh, motioning for her to follow another teacher. Jennie doesn't look back as she disappears through the door. "Please write an incident report, Miss manoban, the headmaster will want to read it."

"Oh my God.." I expel a maniacal laugh. "What incident?! Nothing happened. It's not hers! Why aren't you listening to me?! It's mine. Mine. Mine. Mine."

"I know it's difficult dear," she says, patting my shoulder. "Sometimes upholding the rules isn't easy, especially when the repercussions are as serious as this, but you already did the right thing by confiscating the drugs." She smiles at me. "The hard part is done."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Am I in a parallel universe right now? "Are you deaf or something?!"

"Now Miss manoban," Mrs. Patella scolds, frowning. "Look what this girl has turned you into." She clicks her tongue. "With a record like jennie, I knew granting her admission was a bad idea." She exhales, turning away. She heads to the door, closing it behind her, whispering under her breath. "But does anyone listen to little old me? No. Never."