BALH 2 OS

Ghost of Her Past

Everything was calm, normal, almost peaceful, that Priya felt she really got trapped in some fairy tale. She sat on the bed with half-opened eyes. Morning rays seeped in, brightening the room, and the smell of ghee upma wafted in the air.

"Mr Kapoor?" Priya asked in a half dazed state.

It's been five days since their marriage and Priya felt the quietness in her life unsettling. She pressed her hand onto the bed, the soft cushioned mattress warmed her cold palm. She feared she would fuck things up again. It was a constant worry that haunted her. She touched her mangalsutra, her wedding ring, the faded mark of sindoor. She watched her child sleeping with a faint smile. Everything felt right, too perfect, and dreamlike. Fate had been kinder. It was not fate; it was Ram, and she didn't want to mess it.

"Mr Kapoor?" she called again, but this time louder. She got out of bed and walked out. Kapoor Mansion still felt hollow and lifeless. With every step, she wondered how Ram lived all those five years. A strange staggering pain ripped through her body. She clutched her fingers tightly to ground her.

"Priya bhabhi, are you okay? I kept breakfast in the room." Tarun said.

Priya looked at him. This was a new Tarun. She was not that familiar with him, but everyone had the same kindness and respect towards her and it often overwhelmed her.

"I am okay. Have you seen Mr Kapoor?" she asked.

"Ram sir went out."

"Office? This early?,"

"No. It's a meeting. He has it every month," Tarun said with a smile and walked away.

Priya believed she knew everything about Ram and she knew there shouldn't be any worry about him going for an early morning meeting, yet something bothered her.

*

"Mumma, are you alright?" Pihu asked as she stuffed a whole cupcake into her mouth.

"Pihu, eat properly"

"Sorry mumma, but why are you worried?"

Priya shook her head, "nothing, you eat."

She closed her eyes and tried to calm her spiralling thoughts. She felt her world would slip away and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Mumma"

Pihu's face was smeared with chocolate cream. There was an unseen glimmer in her eyes, something Priya longed to see all those five years. She smiled and the thought of how she ruined everything gnawed in her.

"Pihu, I will go out, take a walk and come?"

Pihu's face fell. The fear of being alone, the fear of Priya being away, the fear of losing the newfound happiness, everything flashed in her face. Priya wished she knew how to calm her thoughts and how to comfort her child. Ram makes everything look so effortless. Even if his world was slipping, he would know how to make the other person feel at ease.

She gulped down an entire glass of water. "Pihu, five minutes. I will be just outside". She looked at her child, and without waiting for a reply, walked out. It felt so wrong, but she couldn't stay one more second there. The urge to step out of Kapoor Mansion, to feel the air, to be away from everyone but as soon as she stepped out, Tarun called her.

"A letter for Pihu baby" he gave envelope. It was a cloth envelope with a peach brocade. The envelope felt feather like in her hand, so light that she feared it would crumble down. It was an invitation to a children's play. The play was to start in an hour. She read the details over and over as if it was a clue to some big mystery.