Heaven (new version)

chapter 26: sins and confessions

Caleb looked at the drinking glasses – both his and Sina's. He had filled them halfway with alcohol as Sina had wanted. Though they looked the same, a little secret rested in Cal's. Balling his hand into a fist, he felt the sting of the cut. Inside the kitchen, the knife he had used to draw blood lay in the sink. This was something he hadn't done since he'd exiled himself and hid away in the trailer in the woods.

Years of feeding off small animals coupled with tremendous guilt had made him lose the plot. There were nights he would bleed himself just about dry in a carafe then wearily feast off the vermillion liquid to resurrect himself. But he was no Lazarus.

Caleb pulled himself out of his dark thoughts and hunched forward. "Can I ask you a question?" Resting his arms on his knees, he clasped both hands around his drink and noticed how warm it was.

Sina, who by now had sprawled on the sofa like he was trying to fuse with it, waved his gin-holding hand around. Caleb's glass was still untouched yet his was all gone. "Only if I can ask you one in return," he slurred.

"You may not like it." Caleb watched as Sina rolled onto his belly and placed the glass on the floor.

"Well, you may not like mine either." Sina looked up. Knitting his brows together, he scowled. "You're not going to ask me if I have a drinking problem, are you?" He flicked his fingers against the glass. "Because I'll tell you right now that I do. I drink because the world sucks and I hate it. Can I ask you my question now?'"

Frowning, Cal shook his head. "That's not what I was going to ask even though you drank half a glass of gin in under ten minutes which does cause me to worry. I'm going to ignore that for now."

"Puh-leeese. Tell me you never got drunk," Sina huffed.

"Look, I've been drunk more than a handful of times in my youth. I once got so drunk that I didn't remember my own name for two days. I woke up by a lake in a town I'd never ..." Caleb stopped mid-sentence and looked at his feet. He flinched when he thought he saw a turquoise bead on the floor but it was simply his imagination. Cal opened his mouth but words failed him and he sat there looking like a marooned guppy.

"Did you forget how to make words come out of your mouth?"

Caleb looked at Sina yet hesitated to speak.

"Go on," Sina urged by waving his hand. "I want to hear this."

Father Cal gave Sina an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I lost my train of thought for a moment." But a faraway look in his eyes spoke otherwise. The moment of hesitation was not about losing a train of anything. It was a recollection that came and bit him hard. "I...woke up in a town I'd never been in. My clothes were in a tree and I had a new tattoo." When Sina looked at him wide-eyed, Cal pursed his lips. "It was lifetimes ago. I'm not a saint nor do I pretend to be because I wear this." He gently touched his collar.

"So, tarnished, huh?"

"Aren't we all?"

"A tattoo though? You're some priest."

"I have more than one."

"No shit? Can I see?"

"I'm not drunk enough yet."

Sina waved a hand in the direction of Cal's glass. "Then drink."

"Can I ask you my question?"

Slumping down so that his face was buried in a cushion, Sina grunted, "Alright. So ask away."

"Why do you work at Purgatory? If you hadn't confessed, I would have never believed it."

In a snap, Sina lifted his head. A scowl decorated his face. "Are you implying I'm ugly?"