His Ex

Part Seven

I watched as his hand trailed across the paper with the utensil in hand, a small tear slipping down his cheek as he worked on the drawing, the two of us watching him for two completely different reasons.

I studied his features like every other time I get a chance, like every other time we enter this room, watching for unease or fear. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't captivated by him. It's not even his looks that make it that way. It's his shy smile that makes an appearance when Gin or I do something for him without his asking. It's his caring personality, the kindness that fills his heart even after all he's been through. He is calm and quiet most of the time, still hiding himself when he feels uncomfortable. The small giggle he allows to pass through his lips because of a scene in a movie.

Looking at him from the side, my eyes flicking from his face to his hand trailing across the page lightly as the crayon in his hand made marks on the white sheet.

It's been 10 minutes and I noticed that his face looks a little different than normal.

Is it the way his eyes seemed more concentrated than before?

Is it the way his eyebrows furrow as he sketches, erasing lines here and there before replacing them with something that'll bring his piece together?

Truth be told, it was none of this. It was his mouth. The corner of his lips were curved up unlike any other time he was told to draw something.

When he finished, he took a small breath before meeting my eyes with an uncertain expression. I nod reassuringly as his paper is taken by a final person in the room.

She has a soft gaze and comforting smile, her light brown hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"I'll say, this is a big improvement." She smiles warmly at Atsushi who glances back at her before looking down at his lap. "Do you mind telling me what swayed your thoughts?"

Atsushi looks at me again, still waiting for permission to speak just like he did 7 months ago.

The night he asked me to show him how to live, he broke down in a way I hadn't see anyone break before. The tiniest sliver of light that blinked in his eyes completely vanished along with the hope of ever being fully saved. He was trembling yet refused any sort of comfort because he believed he deserved what he got for being stupid and trusting someone he had known for less than a day. His heart shattered so loud, I swore I heard it. The tears just kept coming and he muffled the aching, agonizing screams that threatened to rip his throat apart. He couldn't keep it bottled up anymore and I could tell. He was hardly keeping it underwraps as it was and the room was not the place to do it. He needed to scream and shout and curse someone or something into oblivion. He needed the relief and I wanted to give it to him. So I did.

I took him down to the car after coaxing him out of the room in his state, promising him that he will feel 10x better afterwards. I drove him out of town, away from humanity and distractions. About 20 miles out, we got out and I lead him out to the middle of a bunch of trees, and told him to let go. Scream, cry, hit me, rant, get angry, lose himself in the emotions drowning him from the inside. He hesitated at first, but after a minute of consideration, the tears started again, harder, much, much harder than before. He screamed a scream so heartbreaking it was hard not to cry with him. Although I was doing so silently, he kept my attention off my own tears and on him, somewhere in the middle, his hands meeting my chest and stomach with force so hard it was hard not to stumble or gasp, not wanting him to stop when he needed this more than he thinks. When he was done, gasping for air and falling limp to his exhaustion that seemed to have built up over the past couple years. I caught him when he collapsed, holding him softly as he catches his breath, his eyes fall closed despite his heavy breathing. I took him to Gin and I's home and placed him in the guest room for him to rest. To say the least, he looked a lot healthier the next morning seeing as he had slept for the most of 26 hours.

Looking at him now, timidly answering the questions she asked him, I noticed how much he had improved since I questioned him in the hospital room. His face was fuller, no longer skin clinging to bone with a gray complexion. He seemed to fit into his own body so much better.

I smile at the small realization, knowing that he is going to be okay. He is healing, although slowly, and finding himself again.

"You did amazing today, Atsushi. I look forward to our next meeting." She smiles, taking her stand, me following right behind before reaching for Atsushi's hand.

He nods, murmuring a small thanks before shifting to hide behind me.

We leave the office, nodding to the receptionist in the lobby on our way out. When we exit the building, Atsushi speaks softly.

"How many more times do we need to come here?"

"If you continue improving like you are, I would give it less than five. You're doing a wonderful job." I reply as he looks at me curiously.

"I'm improving?"

"Absolutely."

"But... I don't feel like I am."

"It's just your thoughts. I'll be honest, those are going to be harder to ignore so it'll take some time. But your doing so good when it comes to being around others. You even cracked a tiny smile while drawing today."

"I did?"

"Yeah, that's a sign that your doing so much better than you were two months ago. Even two weeks ago." I smile and slowly hug him to my side. "Everything is okay."

He nods, the same small smile from the office making another appearance.

"Ryunosuke."

"Hm?"

"Thank you?"

"For what?"

"Saving me before I lost myself. Showing me how to live. Fulfilling my wish from the hotel room. Taking me in and protecting me. Just... thank you... for everything."

His appreciation catches me off guard, rendering me speechless for a moment before I smile at him.

"You're welcome. I would do it a million times over if it meant bringing the light back into your eyes and the smile back to your face. You deserve the world and, if you let me, I'd like to show you every single part of it." I tell him.

"I'd like that."

Once again, the smile I have come to adore within the last ten minutes makes an appearance.

The broken, beautiful boy beside me is healing right before my very eyes, and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

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Finally completed after too much procrastination. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and will check out my other stories as well.