WHEN I'M WITH YOU

WHEN I'M WITH YOU: PART 5

Eleven twenty-five. That's pretty late for me, but I suppose last night had something to do with it. I couldn't hear my brother's TV, so i'm guessing he still wasn't up, which is normal as it's a sunday. I slouched down the stairs and peered into the front room where my mum had passed out on the sofa again. My mother...clearly depressed about the fact my dad was in hospital, he was hit by a car you know, and has been in a coma for two weeks now. She lies to me and says she's coping fine, but i've noticed she's drinking atleast five glasses of wine every night. And this random man coming to our house, my mum tells me he's a friend of dad's and that he's just seeing how were all dealing with this, I reckon she thinks i'm fucking stupid.

"Morning mum" I said when I noticed her stiring. Her eyes fluttered open, her make up still on from the day before, all smudged round her eyes, she looked at me like she'd never seen me before in her life then after a few seconds smiled at me.
"Goodmorning sweetheart, how are you feeling?" she croaked.
"I'm good mum, just a bit of a hangover..."
"Oh I remember the days, your father and I used to go out and get so smashed that we'd..."
"Actaully mum, i've got to go and get ready" I cut into her. I knew she was having an affair and I didn't want her to talk about my dad.
"Where are you off too then?" she questioned, faking having an interest in what I get up too. I picked up a box of ciggarettes, pulled one out and lit it.
"To see Kai, i'm going round to Kai's house" I said, taking a drag of my ciggarette.
"Eddie sweetie I wish you wouldn't smoke in the house...when do I get to meet this Kai, you mention him a lot?"
"I NEVER mention him unless you ask me what i'm doing today or where i've been!" I snapped.
"Alright alright, no need to yell at your mother, I would just like to meet my son's ."
"No mum, I haven't told him about dad or any of the shit going on right now" I said firmly before walking out the door.

I walked back into my room and stared at a photo of me and Kai stuck to my wall, he had his shirt off, and we were kissing. Words can not describe how he makes me feel. I stared at the picture harder, at the way the corners of his mouth were turned upwards, because he was smiling as we kissed. Taking another drag I sighed and shook my head. Kai Rawlings, your the total opposite of me yet I can make you happy, how? I am nothing special. I put my ciggarette out, i'm not actaully a smoker, just have a few when i'm feeling stressed. Taking the picture down from the wall as it was only stuck with blue tac I took it into the bathroom with me and locked the door. I turned the taps on and the room was filled with the loud noise of warm running water.

I waited for the bath to fill and then stripped naked. Before climbing in I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror, running my fingers over my slightly visable shoulder blades and ribs. With everything that had been going on I wasn't eating properly and was sick quite a bit. Lets just say I wasn't in the state, luckily Kai thought I was naturally this skinny. I hopped in the bath and sat there, bringing the photo up to my face as I didn't want it to get wet. Kai. I don't actually believe it, shit like this doesn't happen to me. I don't fall in love, or people don't fall in love with me, he brings me hope, makes me feel like I can carry on.

I pulled out the plug and went to my room still holding the photo to my chest. Getting dressed isn't difficult for me, I threw on some torn jeans and a hoodie before stepping slowly down the stairs and swinging round the bottom to face my mother who was sitting in the kitchen. I glared at her, it hurt what she was doing, I wouldn't cheat on Kai if he was in a coma, but then again maybe my mum and dad's love wasn't real love or maybe it was, either way I didn't know, it was something i'd never experienced before meeting Kai. I mean how do you know your in love if you've never been in love before? I've liked a lot of people and thought I was 'in love' with them, but then the next relationship would feel different and i'd think that was love instead. My feelings for Kai were stronger than any i'd ever had before but maybe that's because things were new and different with him.