Remembering Summer [COMPLETED]

Summer Bods

Summer Bods

19th March, 2016

Spring break is coming soon. Everyone's talking about going to the gym to start getting back in shape in time for summer. Summer bods.

We always had an inside joke that everyone actually wanted to have your body, since that's what everyone imagines as their beach body. Volleyball and daily runs with Midnight helped keep us fit, but I was always just a bit chubbier than you. What's funny is that we never got jealous of each other. You always did say I was the one born with the sweet tooth, after all. Well, I've finally managed to lose that extra fluff around my waist and arms, even though I quit volleyball, and you know how?

I started to eat less and less ever since you left, and I remember the week that followed your funeral, I had a total of four meals. Four. And the terrible thing is I didn't even notice I was starving myself. I'm pretty sure if Mom didn't come up to give me dinner everyday, I would have died of starvation and not even noticed it. The only thing I've kept taking is water, to constantly replenish my tears supply that seems to never end. Even the dinners Mom sends up are sometimes not even touched.

Do you realize how much of an impact you leaving has had on me? That's how important you are.

The other day I talked to Samantha. Well actually, Sam came and talked to me. We were three peas in a pod, you, Sam and me. I don't really know what happened between her and me, other than the obvious.

It was safe to say that the conversation was awkwardly painful, what with Sam talking to me as if I was her two-year-old neighbor or something. Everyone's been walking on egg shells around me these past few moths, even Dad.

But not Mom.

We had a fight the other day about how I just stopped living, and then I replied with a nasty line that caused tears to drip down her face.

"Summer is dead! She's dead, and you want me to live?! If you haven't noticed, she was my twin for crying out loud! I was closer to her than all the people I know combined, including you!"

And then I left her in the living room as I went upstairs, and entered your room for the first time.

It was musty and had a bad smell, but that didn't stop me for lying under your quilt that Nana made for you. The smell was so bad it covered up your own scent, and that caused me to cry. Because when I couldn't smell you in your own room, I realized I just lost another part of you. And that hurt me more than the fight I had with Mom.

But on the brighter side, since there is no bright side, only varying shades of darkness, I've managed to raise my marks. Not to Harvard or NYU standards, but I could secure a position in an okay university. If the deadlines didn't pass. It was too late now, not that I regret my decision.

I remember when I told Mom and Dad that I wanted to travel, alone, Dad blew up, saying that I was throwing my future away, and that I'd hove no chance in life. Mom managed to calm him down, and even though he still doesn't agree with my decision, he's not as opposed to it as he was in the beginning. Either way, I'm going to use money I collected from the different jobs I worked in the past few years, and when that runs out, I'd work the odd job here and there. I just need to get away.

I still haven't decided where I want go, but I know that it's definitely not New York. The money I have saved up along with the graduation money I'm sure to get will be enough to support me until I secure a job working in a café or something.

All I know is I have to get away from here. From you. Because the atmosphere I'm currently in is slowly killing me, and I can't take it anymore.

-June; who managed to secure her beach body without doing anything