The Boy Who Didn't Love

epilogue

Having kids was never something he thought he could have — along with a wife — and while he was more than happy with the latter, he couldn't find the desire for the former. He didn't want to inflict the same struggles as he had on his child, he wasn't confident in his paternal abilities, and he refused to bring a person into a world that often lacked kindness.

  And Ali, although she had always assumed she would have at least one child, understood his viewpoint. She respected his wishes, especially since it wasn't a deal breaker for her whatsoever. Having each other forever was fulfilling enough, and it allowed her to focus on her career.

  "Yes, I still don't mind. Don't worry," she reassured him as she reached up to hold his face in her hands, watching the relieved expression form on his face. She then wrapped her arms around his neck and laid against his chest, turning her head towards the window. "Have you seen Brady and Marina's candy shop lately? The lines have been insane."

  "Tourist season," he suggested, absently rocking them side to side, and she nodded.

"I'm just glad they're getting more recognition. They're such an unexpected but perfect duo, with Brady being the candy quality master and Marina being the business master. I've been seeing them all over social media, which means the marketing plans I proposed to them worked!"

  Sawyer looked down at her in his arms, eyeing the proud grin on her face. "I'd expect nothing less from a dedicated, soon-to-be marketing graduate."

  "Speaking of," Ali interjected, backing away from him, as she was suddenly reminded of something. "My dad will be coming next weekend to attend my graduation and celebrate. I know you don't like having guests over, but once in a blue moon won't hurt, right?"

  "It'll hurt," Sawyer said monotonously and slumped against the dinner table behind them. "But I'll bear it."

  Ali chuckled. "Just for me?"

  "Just for you."

  "It's almost like you love me or something," she joked, feigning ignorance, and he watched her as she laughed at her own words. His eyes roamed her face like the countless times they have before, still finding something new to admire while simultaneously admiring the old.

  He noticed every change in her body and mind as they aged together for the past eight years since they've shared a home. As minuscule and gradual as they were, he always took the time to remember and cherish them because he knew it'd be a piece of her that may not last forever. And he loved all of the pieces of her, with an intensity that only grew with time.

  Not only that, but he knew that she loved him just as much. She never left a doubt in his mind of that, and showed her affection for him in ways that were tailored to his own emotional comprehension. Even on days when his behavior was inconsistent, callous, or reckless, she still found a way while also respecting his boundaries. She never made him feel like being married to him was a chore either, despite his concerns. At the end of the day, she loved him with a kindness that was too pure to measure, and he reciprocated it as best as he could.

  Ali stopped laughing when he abruptly stood from his chair and came forward to hold her face in his hands. Their eyes bored into each other for a long moment, until he finally found the words to express the feelings in his heart.

  "Before you, I would have never dreamed of a life like this. Not because I'd find it unattainable, but because I didn't even have the capacity to imagine it," Sawyer began, his lips moving fast as his eyes never left hers. "But you've taught me how to love, and how to be loved. That alone has changed so much for me, and I'll never thank you enough for giving me the ability to live a dream I wish I had. So no, I don't almost love you. I definitely do, and I always will."

  She stood there, unblinking, as she processed the beautiful words that flowed from his mouth. The sun from outside the large windows that took up the entire wall turned their apartment into a mesmerizing spectacle of orange, yellow, and violet. Yet even with the romantic atmosphere, she couldn't withhold her cheeky smile. "If I knew you'd make a passionate monologue every time, I'd always be cracking jokes like that."

  "Consistency is not one of my best traits, so I wouldn't count on it," he retorted, and her smile widened. She leaned in and kissed him in a way she knew it'd make his heart skip a beat, then tore away to look at him.

  "I love you too, Sawyer. And I always will, because you're better than the man of my dreams. You're more than I could have ever hoped for," she said, causing a smile to appear on his face too.

And with that, they kissed under the early moonlight in their home. They didn't know what the future held for them — the heartwarming moments they'd share throughout their lives, the arguments they'd grow better from, and the fulfillment of a life spent with that special someone from young to old — but they knew they'd love each other through it all.

He may have thought he was once the boy who didn't love, but he was mistaken.

He was merely the boy who did not know how to love yet, as someone whose understanding of emotions had never come naturally.

But she taught him how, patiently and tenderly. So now he knew, and now he could express the feelings he held for her.

And so he did, with the pleasure of her doing it as well, for the rest of their lives.

A/N: the end! it's been a long journey, but i'm very grateful for all those that have been here from the beginning, along with those that came along the way.

i'm curious to know if this story ended the way you guys thought it would. i definitely felt an air of pessimism from a lot of you, which is completely understandable considering Sawyer's condition. sorry this wasn't a dark romance for those that wanted one! i do have one in the works though...

also, anyone surprised they didn't have kids? i don't know if i may have stirred some controversy with that one or not, so let me know in the comments!

and just for fun's sake, let's reminisce together. comment down your favorite moments in the story! mine were their engagement party (Mr. Price was exposed!), their first kiss on the pier, and chapter 37 - home decor.

have any questions? comment here. i'll respond to all of them.

otherwise, thank you so much for reading and i love you all — from both me and my characters.