Bitter (wlw) (teacherxstudent)

twenty-two

"Same to you. How was your day?"

"Good, actually. Weirdly good. Yours?"

"Love to hear that" she chuckled. "Mine was also good. My sister seems to be having fun. I miss you terribly, though"

"Me too. Everything keeps reminding me of you" I said before I could think about what I was saying. "Too cheesy?" I laughed.

"No, I feel the same"

"Oh"

"I can feel your blushing through the phone"

"Leave me and my blushing alone!" I joked.

I was seriously tempted to bring up what I was thinking two days before during the train ride at one point. But it was Christmas day. And speaking to Sam felt like a breath of fresh air in that moment. And she also sounded really happy too. We talked for something like two hours, but time flew by. I just didn't want to ruin the peaceful atmosphere.

Luckily I was going to see Vic the following morning, so I could ask her what she thought about it.

We met at the cafè next to our old school we'd spent way too much time in, and I let her talk about her crush on her roommate which was apparently requited as long as she wanted, because I honestly preferred hearing my best friend's success stories than thinking about my problems.

"How come you're always so expansive and confident until it gets to making a move on someone?" I asked , once she was done talking.

"Uhm, no need to attack me like that??"

"Sorry, just asking" I laughed, sipping my coffee.

"Well, it's called gay panic. Now leave me alone" she jokingly crossed her arms. "How's your situation going? I've been hearing less and less of you lately"

"Yeah, sorry about that. I've been spending most of my time at her place"

"YOU HAVE???"

"Yeah...I mean, yeah I have" I nervously laughed.

"Good for you Ellie, good for you" she patted my arm.

"But actually, I wanted to ask you for some advice..."

"Oh no"

"You remember what happened after Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah. You called me crying at like midnight" she chuckled. "Should I be worried?"

"No, uhm, it's just that...I've been worrying about the same thing happening now, probably more than I should be worrying about it. And like, her sister's staying with her for the holidays, I don't think they'll just be hanging out at her house. She'll definitely be going out to places full of people in these days"

It felt good to finally express my worries out loud.

"Oh dear"

"Yeah"

"Have you talked to her about it?" she asked, with a more serious tone.

"...No"

"Well, you should. That's my advice" she shrugged.

"If only it was that simple"

"What's stopping you?"

"I'm scared of losing her. I mean... she's had the same problem during her previous relationship. And she'd warned me"

"Well, sorry but that's stupid. There's no point in being in a relationship if you're gonna live in constant fear throughout it. And technically, she's older than you enough to know what that might feel like. She objectively has more life experience than us"