elastic heart

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- felix -

two tickets.

two days.

two chances to meet hyunjin in person.

the sign needs to be perfect.

i take a deep breath before painting in bold black letters:

I WANT YOU
HYUNJIN

relatively happy with the result, i lean back and exhale. done. sliding my phone out of my back pocket, i tap it awake to check the time. the illuminated numbers on the screen inform me that if i leave now, i would be forced to wait alone at the venue for over seven hours.

     "shit." i curse in english.

(author's note: quotes in italics are in english. if the quote is not italicized, it's spoken in korean.)

i stand from where i've been crouching on the floor to paint, and stretch out my legs. walking over to my bed, i sit on the edge and look around my room for something to make the time pass faster. my eyes catch on my computer but i quickly shut down the idea of starting up a game. with the way my thoughts are spinning with nerves and excitement, i'm sure i would lose even worse than usual.

today is the first of the two days i have concert tickets for. last year, for the maniac tour, i was excited to sit in the nosebleeds for just one of the shows. this year, i have two vip tickets and my anticipation is so high that my brain is buzzing with adrenaline. my eyes roam around my room restlessly until i notice that my leg is bouncing from pent-up energy.

    "that's it," i breathe, standing up and heading into the kitchen. "if i can't rest, i might as well try and get a good spot in line." i make myself a grilled cheese and wrap it in saran wrap for later. walking back to my room, i grab my crossbody shoulder bag off its hook and carefully pack my lightstick before puzzling in my phone, keys, wallet, sandwich, and some napkins.

     crouching on my beige carpet, i check if the paint on the sign has dried yet. feeling that it has, i pick that up too and head towards the door, grabbing my leather jacket on the way out.

    
     waiting in line is always nicer than i expect. the girls on either side of me are jumping up and down with excitement and taking selfies with one another. a few people are making their way down the line offering everyone cute lomo cards and goodie bags. one person with long blue-dyed hair comes up to me.

     "hi!! i'm handing out some freebies. which member would you like?" she asks with a bright smile.

     "hyunjin, please," i answer, smiling back and holding out my hand to her. she places a small translucent pouch on my palm. "thank you so much."

      "you're welcome!" she squeaks and hurries back to her friends. once she reaches them, i overhear her say in a hushed tone, "did you guys hear his voice?? it was super deep!"

     "no, i couldn't hear it! but oh my god, he is so stunning!" one of her friends replies before walking out of earshot. i look down at the pouch that the blue-haired girl gave me. pulling it open, i find a small ID-style photo of hyunjin with his long red hair. i smile as an idea pops into my head. i pull out my blue wallet and carefully slide the photo into one of the small pockets. then i check what's left in the small pouch and see a kandi bracelet with his name on it and some stickers. i pull it closed without taking them out and place my wallet and the pouch back in my bag.

     everything goes smoothly. i eat my lunch in line and make it through check-in. once my vip lanyard is around my neck, i jump into another line to buy a maxident t-shirt and some water. after more waiting, the other vip stays and i are led into the sydney qudos bank arena.

     i find my seat (row two, a little to the left of the main stage) and feel my eyes widen as i take in how close i am going to be to the members. my heart does a flip as i imagine making eye contact with hyunjin. i look down at the poster in my hand. with this spot, he might actually see it.

    five minutes after soundcheck ended, my heart was still beating rapidly. bang chan, han, and i.n had all noticed me! i.n even waved!! while stray kids were on stage, i rotated between holding my sign and my lightstick, keeping my sign hidden while any member besides hyunjin stood in front of me. it feels kind of rude to have a sign with only his name on it. plus, i might be a bit embarrassed about being so forward.

     with my bad luck, hyunjin had only come over to my side of the stage twice and his attention had been drawn towards other fans. i feel my chances of getting his 143 pass slipping away.

     for every maxident concert, seven "143 passes" are handed out to fans. one pass per member. after the concert, the fan with hyunjin's 143 pass will get a chance to meet him and tell him how well he performed. it was because of these passes that i bought two tickets. i try to remind myself that even if hyunjin doesn't see me tonight i still have another chance tomorrow.

     taking a deep breath, i look around the arena. the energy is incredibly high as thousands of stays rush in to find their seats. there is lots of squealing, photo-taking, and excited chattering happening all around me. loud music plays over the giant speakers as everyone waits for the show to begin. 

     "cheshire" by itzy finishes playing and the lights change colour. the intro to "case 143" starts up and the audience goes INSANE. my eyes widen as the stray kids members rise from below the stage and start to sing while moving through their choreography.

     they look ridiculously good. and hyunjin... hyunjin. during soundcheck he had been wearing a sweatshirt, which is now removed to show a black t-shirt with the sleeves taken off, revealing the sides of his torso. the shirt has the word "maxident" displayed across the front in hot pink letters and is paired with black pants with white seams and a thin, black, choker-style necklace.

     my eyes are locked on him. so much so, that i don't even notice the screaming getting louder when changbin sings "can i be your boyfriend?"

the rest of "case 143" goes perfectly and "chill" follows suit. i alternate between waving my lightstick for the other members and holding up my sign when hyunjin is near me.

"give me your tmi" starts up and i can't help but smile and sing along the best i can.

then hyunjin walks right over to the section of stage nearest to me and sits down, ready to sing his verse. he positions himself with his legs dangling off the front of the stage. i watch as he tilts his head up to smile at the people above and behind me. then he lowers his gaze and my heart stops. he's reading my sign. it's happening. i suddenly have the urge to sprint from the building, but i manage a nervous smile. he meets my eyes.


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the next part will be from hyunjin's pov!

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