The wrong star

Bond

-----------------------------------

"I know you're not happy about it" Miles says as we walk around the forest that night.

"They don't deserve it" I say.

"I know" he says and I know that he means it.

I stop walking and I lean against a tree.

"How was it?" I ask him.

He looks down at his hands and he smiles.

"It's the most incredible thing I've ever done in my life" he says with a smile and I mirror it.

"Yeah? how did you know to make the bond?" 

"I just remembered... you know, your lessons, everything is connected blablabla. When we started falling and it was just not listening to me I remembered that when Sully and his wife rode those things they seemed to be connected and well" he takes his braid and waves it around.

"This seemed to be the key" he shrugs.

"Right" I say and smile.

"What about everything else you got to see from Pandora?" 

"Well... it's beautiful" he admits.

"It is"

"You don't have one?" he says walking again and signaling me to go with him.

"Yes"

"Where is it?"

"I don't know... when you captured me I was never able to communicate with her and..." I debate whether or not to trust him and tell him this, but he's paying attention to me. Once again... he's listening.

"I don't want you to hurt her" I admit.

"So you could have called her today?"

"Yeah, and I did for a while but then I got scared. Thankfully she didn't come"

"How do you know she's not dead?" Looking at him I could see that he was not asking it with any bad intentions, he was just curious.

"Our bond. I can feel her, not like... feel everything she does or something, but I can feel her as a part of me. Here" I take his hand and place it on my heart.

"I know she's alive"

He nods.

"Can you feel your Ikran?" I ask him.

"I... guess" I raise a brow at his response.

"You only did the bond but you didn't really connect with it right?" I ask.

"I took my braid and connected it with his... thing. You didn't really give me any instructions" he retorts.

So he did not... bond with it.

"Call him" I say. "Like this" I show him how to make the sound with his throat.

"I see you" I say as I explain once again what it means.

"Of course I see him" he says.

"No, not just seen him like physically! You see him as a being, you see him for his soul... you see him as a part of you. You know him now" I explain and place one of his hands on the chest of the Ikran and another above his heart.

"I see you means you see and feel all of him. It is out of respect and familiarity. We all Na'vi greet each other like that too" I explain.

I also show him the signs to say it.

"I see you" he says looking at the eyes of the Ikran. The creature takes a deep breath and moves its wings in content, bringing a smile to Mile's face.

"See?" I ask happily.

"I see you" he then says to me and he's looking so deep into my eyes that it scares me.

I try not to look into his eyes as I respond the same way.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asks letting his Ikran go.

"No" I answer.

"Then why are you not looking at me?" he lifts my chin and I bite my lips as I look at him.

"Your eyes are weird" I say and he laughs.

"Weirdest excuse I've ever heard" he says and is still holding my face.

"You're looking at me weird" I explain.

"Meaning..." he asks.

My hand goes up his arm to where his hand holds my face and I see him fuss a little.

"What are you doing Miles?" I ask in return.

We both stare at each other.

"Who are you?" I ask and I think that's more like what I really want to know.

As time goes by I've seen him, he's a soldier yes, he knows how to give orders, listen and execute too. He knows how to make plans and lead people, he was cold... but I've also seen him talk with Spider and during our walks he became more silent, more attentive to what surrounded him, he cares.

He cares and that scares me, because he's learning our ways but he's still with the people from the sky and I don't know what he will do in the end.

He starts letting go of my face.

"Miles"

He turns around and walks a little but I follow him.

"You feel it too right? You're not just him... you're not just this vessel for someone else" I say. He's walking without looking at me.

"You're different" I say and stop right in from of him making him bump a little with me.

"I- I don't know" he admits and sighs then looks at me again, his eyes are a little watery.

"I think... you're not that man" I say.

"I can't be anything else" he says.

"Why not?!" I ask and my eyes sting.

He's breathing heavily, battling with every emotion he has inside.

"How could I? I was... made in a lab and then given the identity I was supposed to carry. I have a plan and orders... I have things to do" he says taking me by the arms.

"But you still feel... and think and make your own desitions" I say resting my hands on his chest.

"I've seen it, I've seen you." I say.

"I can't be like Sully, I can't turn on my people" he says.

Honor. His greatest enemy, honor and loyalty... having them for the wrong people could bring you to ruin.

"Your people..." I whisper.

"I come from the wrong star remember? I look like you, kind of... but I'm not one of you" he says in a low voice.

"You could... if you wanted to. Jake could" I say.

He grunts.

My hands slowly slide off his chest and I take a step back.

"I know you're different... I know you're not just like them, or him" I say and we both know I'm talking about Miles Quaritch.

He doesn't say anything else and I'm afraid of -his people- winning so I turn around and start walking back to the base.