STAMP OF APPROVAL - a selection story

"it's a funeral, after all"

She nods. "Are you close with your sister?"

"Very. We're eleven years apart, but that never really mattered. We got especially close after I came home after Mom died."

"And remind me, you served in the Coast Guard?"

"Yes, ma'am," the ma'am slips out before I can help it. "Five years."

She smiles softly. "And your mom died during your time away."

More tears prick at my eyes at the memory of it all. Receiving the letter. Coming home. Finding Abri all alone, at a stranger's house. "Yes. She had actually died almost a year before I received word, and it was eleven months after her death that I made it home."

"What happened to Abri?"

"She was put in a foster home until I could be reached."

Her head shakes. "I'm.. so sorry. And Abri was... ten?"

"Eleven."

"So you came back, and then... what? What happened?"

I continue with my story. Getting into college. Moving to a new house. Working double, triple shifts to pay the rent and pay for school. Late nights and homework projects. Graduating college and finding a job. Working. And more work.

Helena sits straight on her chair, waiting for the pause in my story. "You didn't want to leave the Coast Guard, did you?"

I swallow, my throat suddenly dry. "Uh, no. I didn't. The whole reason I went... I was running. For most of my life, I've always done that. It was easier, to be away, than to be in that house where I grew up. Where he lived. Where he hurt us." My head dips, and I can't meet her penetrating gaze. "I joined expecting to die there," I admit, my head lifting. Her eyes are steady, set on me. "I thought I would serve until I was killed. But when Mom died... I was all Abri had. I couldn't be selfish. I couldn't run. She didn't have anyone else. So, yes, I didn't want to leave. But I made a life in Calgary with Abri."

"So you don't regret it?"

"How can I? She's my best friend."

She grins. Then her expression turns serious. "You mentioned running? Should I be concerned? Speaking of Charlotte and the Selection."

I know what she's asking. If I would run from Charlotte. My immediate answer is no, but I know that's not entirely true. I'm still not convinced I'm supposed to be here. Be the one for Charlotte. I'm still running, just from something else.

"No." The lie pricks at my conscience but I push it away. "I'm trying not to be that person anymore. Not since I came home."

She doesn't push for more. "Levi, did you ever date? Have a girlfriend? Any sort of previous relationship I should be concerned about?"

I shake my head. "No. I never dated. I... if I'm being totally honest, I didn't have time. I was in school, then working, taking care of Abri simultaneously. The thought never really crossed my mind."

"Now entering the selection... besides knowing it was mandatory, was there any other reason for you to enter? A chance at love, perhaps?" Her smile turns sly again, but her words still hold weight.

Another shake of my head. "No. I only wrote my application because I was told to."

This seems to disappoint her, but I don't try to make it any better. It's true, and I won't pretend. If Helena's goal is to know me, she's going to know me. Exactly why I wrote my application with no trace of a lie. But then I also thought it would be a condemning reason not to choose mine. And yet I was chosen anyway.