The Villainess' Play

Ch6.

The duchess' glistening hair gently falling over her shoulders, her watering eyes look back at me.
Her eyes are sharp, filled with anger and heartache. Those manic eyes reminding me of the first memory I could make out through a blur.

Maybe it's because I'm an adult in the body of an infant, but I can clearly register things properly more than I could my first life. Her eyes are crystal clear to me now.
This memory was hazy and difficult to remember. After years had gone by, this memory became nonexistent to me—until now.

Her eyes were difficult to make out, all I could remember was someone above me wielding a knife. I assumed it was an assassination attempt, but I now know it isn't.
This was when it began.

The duchess' grip on the dagger changes, she bites her lips hard as her eyes grow more enraged. Raising the hand that holds the knife, I quickly do my best to move my arm. The weight of how difficult it is for an infant to move, almost painful as I keep my eyes on the dagger.
Until my hand touched the slender wrist holding my jaw.

The duchess' eyes widen slightly, the tears building up in her eyes as the hand that wields the blade pauses.
Cooing, I happily smile as I hold her thumb—feeling almost embarrassed to act like a baby—her body jumping from my touch.
Her trembling hand releases my face as she stares at me play with her hand. Her slender soft fingers gently, yet hesitantly playing with my hands too. Her index and thumb gently grasp my palm.
My heart racing as I do my best to appear as innocent and harmless as I can be, reaching out to her.

I beg in my mind, hoping this is enough. My anxiety skyrocketing as I stare at the dagger in her still hand.

Suddenly something falls upon my cheek.

The duchess' tears overflowing from her eyes as she looks back at me. Her body trembling as she bites her lip so hard, it seems she'd bruise it.
The façade my parents always had in my mind, collapses. Realizing now, the archduchess is a lady who hides behind a mask at all times.
In this moment, alone together for the first time, I see the true face of the duchess. The mask she wears to hide and protect herself, seemingly taken off as she shows her vulnerability to a child who's too innocent to register anything. A broken, frustrated lady who's so young, she seems to be only a few years older than I was when I died.

Coo's and babbles exit my lips apart of my act.
I give her a smile, reaching my hands up.

Instantly, the dagger drops from her hand onto the bedding of the crib.

Stumbling, her knees weak as she leans over the crib. I reach for her cheeks, giving a smile.
The sense of relief washing over me as the dagger leaves her hand. She leans her forehead against mine, tears dripping from her sorrowful pale-green eyes as she gives a smile through her sobs.
Surprised by how close she is, I sense my heart beating quicker than it ever has. An uncomfortable sensation rises over me as I look back at her. Closing my eyes, I take note of the strange feeling that lingers in my chest.

"Casmil... Bring me back." I call out in my mind.

A sudden wave of coldness hits my body, numbness spreading through my limbs. Opening my eyes, I see Casmil holding my hand as he pulls me through the waterfall.
My body light and weightless again, I immediately turn to the image.
The duchess sobs, gently stroking the child's head and cheek like a mother would.
The lingering feeling I felt before, resides in my thoughts. Unable to process the name of the sensation, I place my hand on my heart as I watch the two in the reflection.

"You could've stayed longer." Casmil chuckles, his eyes focused on the image.
"I don't remember a time when someone gently held me like that. I didn't need it back then, and I don't need it now."
"Yet that's still you. Your past is changed, you don't need to stay with the life you first had."
"It's easier this way." I stare at my hands, the warm feeling of the duchess' hands, still lingering on my fingers.
"It's easier to do what I need to, if I believe that 'that child' isn't me. That child deserves the warmth I never got, so after all I've lived through, I don't need it now." Clenching my hand into a fist, all sensations disappear as indifference takes over my body again.
Casmil glances over at me, his eyes unreadable.
I turn back to the image, watching the duchess.