Chapter XIX

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One late spring day, Joan's world turned upside down.

She was sewing with her cousin in their room on a rainy morning when the Empress approached them. "Joan, I must speak to you alone." Joan looked over at Elisabeth, who shrugged. Joan put down her needle and thread and stood up.

Joan followed Margaret down the hallway into one of the Empress's public rooms. "I have some good news. You must pack your all things immediately. Your family is recalling you back home," Empress Margaret said.

The words didn't process for a moment. "My family?" Somehow she had gotten used to her German kin being her family and didn't understand at first. The news didn't register as good news.

"Yes, we will send an escort with you to meet your mother in Gaunt. She wants to see you as soon as you are able to arrive," Empress Margaret said.

"Oh...but why?"

"It is on your father's request," she said simply.

"But what about the alliance? My marriage to one of your sons?" Joan asked.

"Alliances don't always work out." Empress Margaret leaned down and hugged Joan. "I will be sorry to see you go, but I know you will love to be with your parents again. As women, we have no choice in our lives but what we're told to do. My husband the Emperor can have an alliance with England or with the Pope. He cannot have both. And so, you will go home because the alliance between England and the Holy Roman Empire is no more. I will miss you, sweet girl, but your home is no longer with us. Send my sister my regards."

It had been a long two years she had been living in the Holy Roman Empire. Two years was a very long time for someone who was not yet seven. She had grown used to the idea that she would make her life in German lands, and suddenly she was told that she would never see her new family again.

Thinking of her lessons, she silently thanked the Empress for all that she had taught her and her generous hospitality. She curtsied and asked if she was excused, and Margaret let her go. There was no use complaining that she hadn't even been given a choice, and maybe she would choose to stay if anyone asked.

Joan spent the afternoon alone, mostly looking out the window to process returning to England. Much like when Anna left, her cousins let her alone while she came to terms with her future. She had tried so hard to get used to German customs, and now she was being ripped away like a flower being ripped up by the root from the earth.

Her things were packed over the next couple of days. Joan said goodbye to Elisabeth, who would now be alone in their room with Joan and her sister Anna gone and with no one left to gossip with as she fell asleep. She said goodbye to the Emperor and Empress, who were courteous, but they kept any other emotions to themselves other than polite formality. Joan knew ultimately Emperor Louis was behind her leaving, but it wouldn't have done her any good to say any ill words to him or ask him why he no longer honoured his alliance to her father. That was all beyond her understanding. Joan said she would pray for their well-being for them and their children, and they wished for God to watch over her travels.

And what broke her heart most was saying goodbye to both the princes, Louis and William. She would never marry either of them, even if she'd let her heart hope for one day that she would. They were both so different from each other, but she admired both of them and their spirit to follow their own natures. She knew they'd forget her eventually, and she might even forget them by the time her father decided a new match for her. Yet her heart ached as this pathway that she would now never go down.

Within a few days of the declaration, all of her belongings were packed, an entourage was gathered, and Joan decided to leave with grace and no tears. She dressed in her best dress lined with fur to leave a nice lasting memory to the House of Wittelsbach so that they would look back fondly on her and hopefully on England.

"I must bring Red Arrow. He belonged to my father," Joan insisted before she left. She doubted her father even remembered the horse, but it was her only bond to her past, and now it would be a reminder of her time in the Holy Roman Empire.

Margaret objected that a child needed such a large horse but eventually relented as long as someone else rode it. Once she was with her mother, the queen would decide when Joan was allowed to ride him. "Don't forget all you've learned here," the Empress said in a soft voice. "You are much wiser as you've grown here. You may not know it yet, but being with us has been good for you, and I am proud of you, Princess Joan."

"Thank you," Joan said, even though her heart was breaking for a second time in a short life. Margaret had been a surrogate mother to her for two years, and that wasn't easy to leave. They hugged tightly before Joan entered the carriage that would take her to her mother.

Joan held her head high as she left the royal family and didn't cry until hours into her journey.

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