ℝ𝔼ℂ𝕂𝕃𝔼𝕊𝕊 ➵ o. kenobi {my only hope; book 2}

【 SEVENTEEN 】

"It's not that I didn't want to tell you, Emeré," Kera whispered. "Please, believe me. I wanted nothing more than to keep you safe."

"Well, it's too late for that, now, isn't it?" I glared at her, shaking my head. "You know, you could have told me. Especially when I asked you specifically about my ability and my parentage ten years ago, hoping to prevent something like this from happening."

Kera had tears in her eyes. "I couldn't, Re. I couldn't do that to you."

"What?" I demanded. "You couldn't tell me the simple fact that my mother was--is--a mind witch?" My voice cracked, and some of my rage subsided, letting in some of the sadness I'd been trying so hard to push aside before now. "That... that I am, too?"

"Re, no," Kera murmured, edging her way closer to me. "Please don't believe those lies. You aren't anything more than you make yourself." I don't think she was aware that she was crying, but it was a sight to see nonetheless. I hadn't seen her cry since she'd found out about Qui-Gon's death.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to sound mad, but ended up sounding more confused and mournful than anything.

"I mean that her power may have been passed onto you," she began slowly, "but that doesn't mean that you have to use it for bad, like she does. I know you've had your close calls before, but like you told me ten years ago, you have used that ability for good. You can continue to do so."

I shook my head despairingly. "Not while she's in my head," I squeaked. "She's there, watching me, listening to my thoughts. She wants to turn me dark. She wants..."

Kera stepped even closer and held out her hands, as if to hold my own. She looked into my eyes meaningfully, waiting for my permission. "May I?"

I hesitated, but nodded, placing my hands in hers. She led us over to a nearby couch, where she sat, and nodded at me to do the same. Once we were seated, she looked me in the eyes, breathing in deeply.

"Emeré," she began, closing her eyes briefly to compose herself, "please, just let me explain." She reopened them and looked at me genuinely. "I told you that Master Yoda knew about your ability, and that he asked me to keep it a secret. I agreed, and like I said ten years ago, I've regretted that ever since. But he never knew about your mother," she admitted. "No one did." She looked away, squeezing my hands. "I kept it a secret from everyone, out of fear--not for me, for you," she added when she saw me open my mouth. "I knew the second I told everyone would be the moment they all started judging you for who your mother was, and not who you were yourself. In all honesty, I don't think Master Yoda would have granted me permission to start training you if he knew who you really were," she explained. Finally, she looked me back in the eyes. "I wanted to protect you."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, my voice breaking.

Kera sighed, blinking a couple of times. "For the same reason, Re," she admitted. "I didn't want you to judge yourself or who you were too early. I know it was wrong of me to keep such a big part of your life from you. I understand that. But..." she steeled herself. "Stay angry at me if you want. I deserve it. But... I don't regret what I did. Without the thought of your mother and your past clouding your mind, you were able to become who you were meant to be. A valorant, reliable, trustworthy, confident young woman who I am proud to call my apprentice. My friend. My..." Kera scrunched up her nose, like she was about to start crying again. "My family."

I didn't know what to say. "Kera..."

"I know," she said, cutting over me. "I know you're angry. Furious. I know the choice of hiding your parentage wasn't mine to make. And I don't care if you're mad at me for the rest of your life. This was all I wanted... you becoming the good person... that you were meant to be." She dropped my hands and looked away, her face flushed with emotion. "I'm sorry," she finally whispered.