𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙘𝙠𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙢 ᶠᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ˣ ᵃᵇᵈᵘᶜᵗᵒʳ ✔

01

I was on my way home from my part time job. It was dark and I've always taken this shortcut home except tonight, something felt different.

~

Lately, I felt like I was being watched. Most of the time it was just my Mother breathing down my neck, demanding I do other chores in the house and complete my current chores faster.

But other times, I couldn't find the source of my paranoia. For now, I'd just blame it on my anxiety. Anxious that my parents would ever notice me taking a break or having a snack. I would always take my meals at work. If I dared eat too much, I'd be yelled at. If I worked too slow, I'd be yelled at.

They've never laid their hands on me. But the threats were always there. The raising of the hands. The pointing of fingers. I didn't dare make eye contact with my own parents any longer.

Having younger siblings was supposed to motivate me to continue surviving and tolerating this treatment. This was not the case for me as my younger siblings only contributed to such treatment.

Why should I care for them, if they've never cared about me?

It never made sense to me how I had to suffer for others' benefit. People may call me selfish, heartless and evil. But why should I be nice when all they've ever done to me was be all those things.

Plus, why should I care about what others think about me? I think I've cared too much already. It's always "What will everyone think when they see you acting like this?" or "Stop embarrassing your parents!". It's always about everyone else and never about me.

Now I've gone and made myself cringe. I'm not trying to be self-centered but I'm just sick and tired of always having to sacrifice myself. For once, I'd just like to put myself first. Please.

~

I ignored the nagging feeling of eyes staring daggers into my soul. The night was quiet. It felt like I was prey in the middle of the woods with its predator slowly approaching. By this point the hairs on the back of my neck stood. I had a single ear bud plugged into my left earlobe with my favorite true crime podcast playing.

That's when I heard it.

Footsteps.

Heavy ones.

In my peripheral vision I managed to catch a glimpse of the dark silhouette of a man. My heart thundered against my ribcage.

I paused my true crime podcast and unplugged my ear. I pulled my jacket's zipper up further for a sense of security. I made a left turn.

The man followed.

My hands were shaking. I fumbled with my phone in my pocket. I tried taking it out to do quite literally anything.

'Come on, come on, come on.' I willed my brain to think.

'Come on, think brain, think! I've listened to countless true crime podcasts, surely I know a way to survive this.' I panicked.

I could've used my phone to switch on the flashlight and suddenly blind the man.

Or used my phone to call the cops.

Or even better, use my phone as a weapon and sacrifice to attack/throw at the man.

But no. My brain and nervous system decided not to work together today as I successfully fumbled my phone allowing it to slip right out of my hand. Landing right onto the gravel pavement it went. I flinched when I heard the screen crack.

How fun. The world is against me today.

This moment of weakness was a golden opportunity which the man did not waste. I felt his strong hand grab onto my shoulder stopping me in place and before I could free myself he wrung his arm around my waist and muffled my screams with his other hand.

The man managed to throw me into the trunk of his car, faster than I could process it.

"Fuck." I mumbled to myself.

It was only then did my brain start to function.

'Never go to the second destination. Chances of survival decreases by x%.' The voice in my head recited.

Well isn't this just fantastic? I'm gonna die today and I don't even remember what date it is.

'Rip YN LN loved by no one' is what my tombstone would say, if my parents even cared enough to waste money on their slave's tombstone.

Then that one scene in the book As Good As Dead, where Pip gets kidnapped, flashed through my mind.

'Leave as much DNA as you can, everywhere.' The voice in my head spoke again.

I then proceeded to quickly pluck strands of my hair out, making sure some skin was left on the ends and placing them around the trunk.