TK Special #7 - Return to the M'Verse: An Ooorah Anthology

When Universes Collide - by @JaneQuill28

When Universes Collide

by JaneQuill28

"Each day means a new twenty-four hours." Warble Oorah prated. "Each day means everything's possible again. You live in the moment, you die in the moment, you take it all one day at a time," he paused for effect, which was morose silence from his audience of four, and continued. "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters, in the end." He smiled, revealing a lot of teeth. "Our end, today, is D2D delivery implementation."

The response was sullen acceptance of another sermon from the man who entered the code to bank drafts for their pay. Sure, you pompous ninny, Hooba thought. No wonder you failed to get a position as Priest to the Toad King. She sighed, resting her cheek on her hand. We're living on7 gulders an hour plus tips. Tips customers don't give for your one-meat-slice subs and uncheese pizzas. And leftovers. Ok, you're my brother, but you're a jerk sometimes. Most of the time. All.

"Today we launch our new delivery program, Dog to-Door delivery." Warble preened, a smug look on his face. "D2D." His small and often hungry staff, whose perks included eating all they wanted, stared at him, horror-struck. He was serious. "First delivery order today gets a free sub or pizza every week for a year." Warble reconsidered. "Make that every month for a year."

Lucky them, Hooba snickered.

"Hooba Oorah is in charge of our delivery dogs." Hooba winced. She'd trained seven dogs to deliver pizzas and subs by voice commands over their Teslacoms. The mutts, selected from shelter leftovers by Warble himself instead of Hooba selecting promising trainees, had learned to drop off packages at the required addresses.

That the ever-hungry dogs usually delivered cool pizza and tepid, dry cheesesteak subs—or what passed for steak at Oorah's Pizza and Subs was ignored by Warble. He cut training short, wanting to start dog-to-door delivery immediately and make more gulders.

Warble rubbed his hands, flashing the toothy smile again. "GET TO WORK! OPEN IN THREE MINUTES!"

Hooba the delivery expeditor, Jack the pizza maker, and Nua and Fua, the twin sub makers, took their places and checked that everything was prepped and ready. At 11:00 the Tesla Order Vid buzzed and the first delivery order was posted.

Hooba passed the order for an Oorah's Special of a medium Tropical Pizza of ham-pineapple-coconut and Oorah's milk less (and tasteless) cheese to Jack. Jack grimaced, tossed dough into a round and made the pizza. He slid it into the fancy brick oven.

D2D delivery orders came in steadily, for Warble's relentless advertising, special offers and promises of a new menu for the first day got a lot of customers, hopeful despite all past experience.

With a prayer to the Toad King, Hooba attached the ham, etc. to Zippy, best of her dogs. Warble attached the coupon for the prize of a free pizza or sub every month for a year to the box. Hoobaprogrammed the address into the Teslacom and sent the dog out. She watched as Zippy trotted down Cane Toad Avenue and stopped to sniff at a promising trashcan. The dog started to push it over when the owner came out and chased the dog away with a broom.

Zippy raced down the street and turned at the correct corner for delivery. Hooba sighed and returned to the Vid, pulling orders. Soon all seven dogs were out on delivery.

Zippy came back with a note saying Oorah's Special was the same old Tropical Pizza: pineapple and ham but with coconut added. There was no tip in the little envelope. Hooba sent Zippy out with a vegetable sub, heavy on the garlic and onion. Half way down the block, she could still smell it.