SHIELDER (CPAGS Epilogue)

Part 12

He would definitely notice it. Kahit anong tago ko pa. Mapapansin n'ya ang tungkol sa kondisyon ko.

Hindi ko gustong isipin kung ano'ng magiging reaksyon n'ya sa oras na malaman n'ya ang tungkol doon.

"Now that you know about my condition... Would you stay away from me now, too?" I asked.

I was scared of what her answer would be. Pakiramdam ko, nakasalalay sa isasagot n'ya ang magiging reaksyon ng ibang tao kapag nalaman din nila ang tungkol sa 'kin. I knew there would be a time when other people would notice it too. Kahit anong tago pa ang gawin ko.

Gadriel, Shielder, and James were good. Nagkakasundo-sundo kami. But then... There was Zeno.

Violet gave me a soft smile. Her eyes twinkled. Bago pa s'ya magsalita ay nakita ko na ang sagot sa mga mata n'ya.

"Of course not, Gray... I won't stay away from you. I would never leave you over this."

I tried to swallow in the emotions that wanted to burst out of my chest. Pero nahirapan ako dahil naramdaman ko ang bikig sa lalamunan ko. Nahalata ni Violet ang pinipigilan kong emosyon.

She reached out and put a hand on my cheeks. My eyes watered when I felt the warmth of her palm. I leaned my face onto her palm more as she caressed my cheek gently with her thumb.

"I'm the only one who will be able to accept you, Gray... Others wouldn't understand you. They wouldn't understand how people are living in your brain and you can even talk to them. I'm the only one who can," she said. "But I am more than enough for you, right? You will be satisfied with me."

I stared at her.

"Kahit si Kuya... Hindi n'ya ako maiintindihan?"

Violet looked at me. There was pity in her eyes.

"He won't, Gray... I'm sure of that."

Nasaktan ako roon.

"Why? He's my brother... He promised he would take care of me."

"But he left you. He already left you before, what more if he finds out about your condition?" she said. "He never took care of you. He definitely won't take care of you with your condition."

Halo-halo na ang nararamdaman ko. What Violet said actually made sense. Umalis si Kuya noon, nang hindi n'ya alam ang tungkol sa kondisyon ko. Paniguradong hindi n'ya rin ako aalagaan kapag nalaman n'ya ang tungkol doon.

With how people think, with how judgmental people are... There weren't many who would understand my situation. There weren't many who would stay with someone like me.

Tama si Violet. Baka nga s'ya lang ang makatanggap sa 'kin.

I was so glad that I met her. I was so thankful that she was here.

"You don't have to worry about anything, Gray... I'm here." She smiled as she leaned in and brushed her lips lightly with mine. Halos hindi ko maramdaman iyon. "I will give you everything. I'll protect you. Always."

I smiled at her and closed my eyes when she gave me a full kiss this time.

I'm glad I found someone, the only one who could accept me.

I began teaching Violet some Tagalog words. Boy, it was so hard! Alam ko namang hindi madaling matuto ng pangalawang lenggwahe. But damn... With Violet? Nauubos palagi ang mahabang pasensya ko sa tuwing tinuturuan ko s'ya.

But it was all that I could do. She stayed with me. Tinupad n'ya ang sinabi n'ya. She was the only person who stayed with me after everything.

"I hate your alters, Gray," she suddenly said one time.