The Irish's Sanity

Chapter 17

"No."

"Then why are making this hard for yourself. People can pity you but not forever they are bound to move on and you will be still be here with him." I wasn't about to tell her everything about my plans.

Trust no one.

I felt slight relief at the voice in my head I had missed it, it's been a while since I've thought about or even remembered my sisters teaching. Immediately I felt a little better than before.

"I don't want pity -at first I did I hoped someone would be human enough to help me -not pity me enough to be honest but after some cold harsh realisations I accepted the fact that no one around here would help me."

"It's not that we aren't human but we are just people who don't want to lose their heads and the fact that we literally can not help you, this is Ireland this country among many others belong to him. You on the other hand are choosing to make things hard." Deep down I understood as much as I didn't want to nobody wanted to die.

"Time and time again you choose hardship why not just comply?" She asked looking at me, I could see that she was truly confused. She didn't understand.

"It's not that easy." I said looking at my food before looking up at her.

"Why not?"

"I feel like if I do he wins, I feel like if I do I will get used to this I don't want to this isn't right. I was kidnapped for crying out loud and I'm expected to just be okay with everything and not have emotions and go with his will. I can't. I can't let him have peace when I don't. I can't let him fully have the me that he wants when he did all the things he did to me- the inhumane things.
I can't let him have the satisfaction." I gulped stopping the tears in my eyes I didn't want to cry.

"It's not about him it's about you whether he benefits or not for your own sake. Even if I was to help you escape you would be back here in thirty- No probably a few days because O'Sullivan is sick like that and after that it would be torture for you he would make you wish you were dead. There is no escaping him. I could help you escape and drive you to the airport or police station- the police are under him let's not even mention the police they are little pawns -their are bosses are little pawns I really hope you are getting an idea of what I'm saying."

"And going to the airport won't help when he owns majority of the airlines and he has people everywhere. What I'm trying to say is you have no way of escaping this man- you have no choice but to be here but you have a choice of not living a very painful long life." She said, I thought I had everything under control but I didn't I was so bent over leaving this psychopath and getting my life back I didn't even realise the hard truths. I don't want to see him succeed when it comes to me. I was angry at him because he made me feel so powerless and still does in other situations. He took my life and I don't think I would ever just give up.

But maybe for now I could try and do something different because above all else she was right. I don't know how long I have been here but I do know that this can not be my life for the next few months that I will be here- getting out of here is out of the question because I wasn't compromising on that even if he would catch me I will die trying I wouldn't just give up like that but I agreed that for now I had to try and make my life better.

"How do I make it 'work' with such a psychopath. You do understand how fucked up he is right. He isn't normal in anyway and I'm not about to lose myself pleasing him, I would rather he continues torturing me."

"I doubt he wants to lose you- you are who he wants. He's not so bad you know. And as for your first question have you tried actually getting know the psychopath?" She asked standing up and taking our dishes we were both done. I've never really thought about that well in this manner- I did think about this but I had other motives that would work to my escaping advantage but I didn't really think he was human. I just realised that I have never thought of this man as a normal human being- well maybe in the beginning and he was far from being normal.