My Favourite Dream

16. It's Useless!

"Shhh! I know I am just your friend. I was teasing." He turned his face away from me and winked. Turned his face with helplessness of our situation and winked to fake his charm? I was blank.

"I said stop fidgeting. I am not even touching you." I didn't even realise when he removed his hold from mine and tried to tease me.

"Now you aren't." I looked back, I wanted to win the conversation and go away. But I failed miserably, my feet were plastered to the ground.

"Caught me?" Taran chuckled. How heartily and tunefully. I love when he laughs like this. But I can't tell him this, so I looked everywhere but him and might be he didn't like it. Taran held my chin delicately as if I am a glass doll. He made me look up at his gorgeous face. Some water droplets could still be seen racing down from his peripheral hairs to chin. I would not lie but when he appeared in front of me, bare chested, the sight was bewildering and enticing. I had never seen a man a like that, looking so good in just a trouser and wet hairs. Taran is exceptionally handsome.
There! He leaned into me more, for what? To kiss me? I don't know. But I know one thing, I wanted him to descend his lips onto mine. I waited for him to do the deed, though at the back of my mind, I knew it's amoral. I felt like living there in the moment forever. Taran has become so much important for me, that I didn't realise when it started happening. But he didn't kiss me. Instead, a placid smile played on his lips and he moved away, denying the tension. I like it. I like that he is the smart guy between two of us, who does not give up at the hands of emotions. Not just that, I have seen him, observed him multiple times, Taran pushing himself away, when we get close. I have seen his muscles tired, eyes closed and words being gulped down by him, words which can create a havoc in our lives. Like today, despite of me, not moving from under his hold, and demanding a kiss subtly from him, by staring hungrily at him, he pushed himself back and stepped back. He didn't let it happen for good. He always stops himself from crossing the line. He isn't in love. We aren't. Thank God. It is not love. It can never be. I don't want this. And maybe he too and I admire him for that. And that's why a part of me, still feel he's so special. My friend. My buddy. Ninety times out of the daily interaction we have, I find the vibe, same as ever. Cool, sorted and genuine. But rest of the times, in the heat of the moment, it gets all corrupted. Our thoughts, our feelings, our souls.

"At seven. Sharp." That moment, I saw something changing in his eyes. A flicker of an ambition. Taran is upto something and he wants me to be a part of it. Because he has never asked me to get ready like this before. We have had so many car rides but never did he sound so dark and affirmed. There was a glint of excitement and enthusiasm, both in his voice and black orbs, when he asked me today. In front of Ayaan, I could feel the sexual tension cutting through us. I had a hard time, handling my feelings and emotions. I had no control over my heartbeat. And I know Taran saw that.
Day by day, this mess is increasing by folds, conjuring my mind and sanity. I am stuck at a crossroad between my mind and my heart. At least it seems like a crossroad when actually I know my decision, my conscious.

It is not like I love him. But this is not only friendship, that exists between us. It's much more than that and I hate it. The feelings, the troubles, the confusion I had in mind and from which I had been running from past one month, have now become more evident.

Despite of all these conflicting thoughts in my mind, i got ready at time. Wearing that violet shimmery shirt dress, with half sleeves. I paired it up with my black sandals and curled my hairs, with a little loud makeup. I looked at myself in the mirror and it was so not me. It is my first time, wearing something like this. I was conscious but gathered myself for Zainab. She has gifted me this dress with so much of love, i had to wear this. And i won't lie that I loved it too. I am excited about Taran's reaction to my this look. But he has his own priorities today..