'Sun Mere Humsafar...' - SwaSan Fanfiction

Chapter 31 : My Strength And Courage

Her words filled him with so many feelings at once. For once, he wanted to let go off all the barriers keeping him controlled. All his bottled up feelings and pain -- that he had been controlling since one and a half decade -- were ready to spill out and this time, he made no effort to hide them for any longer now that someone was here to listen to him and hold him.

She was not just 'someone'. She was his Swara! The one he chose to love for all his life and beyond.

"I really hope she gets fine soon, Swara." after moments of silence, he finally opened up, "It kills me everytime when I see this condition of mom. How I hope... this had not happened to her."

He bowed his head a little closing his eyes for a while and Swara kept her other hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay," she assured him softly, "It will be okay. Very soon."

"I really hope so. At least she realized she has forgotten her life memories. That makes me hopeful that she will remember everything soon. But... somewhere I feel like I have failed as a son, as a doctor. I feel so helpless that even after being a doctor I'm not able to do anything to help my own mother."

"Don't think this way, Sanskar. You are doing all that you can for her. That is why she is still here between us, alive. You took care of her when she was in coma and you are taking care of her now also."

"I don't know. But I don't believe one thing," he choked a bit as he felt the emotional burden too much on him, "Why is it that all of us believe in the power of God but when we need them the most in our difficult times, he turns his back on us?" he asked and she shook her head in denial.

"No Sanskar, don't say this. God is always there with us in our good times and bad times, we should not doubt that. And he is the one who has given us this power to bear the pain. He knows we can survive this. God gives suffering only to his favourite children because he knows we have the power and patience to live through them. And just because of your inner power and courage, your mother came back to you when everyone else gave up the hope. It's your love and your belief that has brought her back to you. And as far as I know, I know God is not so cruel. He won't never let anything wrong happen with his good children like you for longer."

She smiled and seeing her optimism, his heart lifted up a little.

"Swara. Do you also think... I mean... is it true that men should not cry? I was always told that men don't cry, and I guess I grew up with that."

"It's wrong," she said firmly. "Men have every right to cry. They are also human. They also have heart. They also feel pain."

"You're right," he sighed.

"Nobody has said that tears make you appear weak. In fact, it's a sign that you have been strong all this while. Sanskar, you were strong when you lived your life without your mother. And you are strong now and out there to support your father. And now you're being strong for your mom so that she recovers soon. It's absolutely natural to feel vulnerable because all this while you've been investing time on others keeping yourself aside."

Sanskar shaked his head acknowledging whatever she said and he gave it a thought. And he knew everything she said was word by word right. He knew his Swara was never wrong. She was the one he would believe with his eyes closed. He knew his pain of not having his mother with him wouldn't get lessened but a hope that he had his love right here besides him to hear him, understand him like his soulmate and assuring him that things would get better was enough for him to feel lighter.

At last, he smiled slightly and seeing him better relieved Swara too.

"I really wonder how is it that you are so amazing. You're so young, yet so wise and mature."