BOSOM. |Bang Chan

Forty.

Chan was still sitting on the terrace's bench, but he wasn't facing the railings anymore. More than fifteen minutes before, he moved his legs to straddle the bench, to be able to give all of his body attention to Alana who was having her breakdown. He pulled her body to be flushed against his, and let her head rest on his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her quivering body and did nothing except caressing the back of her head while rocking their bodies together from side to side. He didn't say a word or try to shush her when she started sobbing into him, and just gave her the comfort she needed while she cried her heart out.

Alana started tearing up while Chan was narrating how he was imprisoned in his own body for nine years. He told her how he wandered the endless road over and over again, going in loops for all he could remember. He told her how the voices around him were distant and unclear, and how his body felt like it wasn't his. And how eventually, his soul was losing connection with his body.

After a few months, or maybe years of hibernation, Chan could finally understand the state he was in and why he couldn't move, talk or control anything. He knew that what he kept seeing wasn't true and that all was inside his head. What he didn't understand was why he kept choosing the stormy road instead of the sunny one with his favorite field of daisies. And what he didn't understand too, was why he always ended up at the same fork ahead of the two roads.

Over the years, Chan kept his brain working. Although he was hibernated, he tried his best to gather the pieces of the state he was in. Observing the roads and trying to remember his last choice before he faces the fork again. Analyzing the surroundings, the darkness, the voices, the whispers, and the hums. The tingling that took over his left chest and neck whenever he stepped on the stormy road, and the suffocating pain that almost killed him whenever he tried, just tried, to take the other sunny road.

At last, and after long tiring years, Chan came to understand how that illusive world worked.

The two roads resembled his choices. He could take the sunny road that any sane human being would. It was easy to walk there. It would surely be an easy trip. It might start with a little difficulty but then, it would be less troublesome. He would just go with the flow and keep going in endless fields of daisies.

The stormy road was the opposite. Once he steps there, he would be thrown with different challenges. From the storm to the pain till he goes back to the darkness and being paralyzed. It wasn't an easy trip to take, but he always found himself choosing it. He still had hope he would make it. He still believed that he would be rescued. He didn't want to give up. Not yet.

He would go through all the hardships then, once again, he would find himself at that fork, facing two choices. It was as if life was testing him on whether he would fight again or just give up.

He finally understood. The stormy road was where he could find his savior. The sunny road was where he could give up and let his tired soul rests. For good.

After nine years, Chan was tired. He lost hope in being saved. He'd occasionally hear faint voices of doctors around him, sometimes giving him false hope, others giving up on him. That's when he decided he had enough and it was time to let go. He decided to take the easy road. He decided to let his soul rest in peace and end his misery.

He stood at the fork again, remembering clearly all of his past choices which were always the road not taken. He remembered how he ended up at that fork over and over again. He was tired and done for it. Just before he steps onto that road, a voice came, sending strange tingles up and down his body. And he found himself contemplating once more his decision.

Alana finally, pulled her head from Chan's chest. Her sobs turned into sniffles by then and she almost ended her crying session. She lifted her head to look at the man who was holding her in his arms. Once her eyes met his, the thought of losing him came back to her, and involuntarily, her lips curled up and she was about to start a new crying session.

What she lived in for a few days after that stormy night when she shortly got hibernated, Chan was living for nine years. Alana couldn't believe that she almost lost him before she even met him. That specific morning, on her first day as an intern, she walked into his room huffing because she was assigned to start her internship in the Department of Hibernation. That morning, if she didn't step into his room, he could've taken the other road. That morning, she saved him without knowing she did.

"Hey, hey, hey." Chan mumbled as he held her face in his hands. "It's okay. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I'm safe. You saved me."

Alana sniffled while nodding at him. She gulped the lump in her throat to try and talk back, to ask him a nagging question. "W-What happened after that? Did you take the stormy road again?"

Chan shook his head lightly. He dropped his hands from her face and secured them to her waist, keeping her close to him. "I kept standing there. For those months you spent around me while I was in hibernation, I was standing at the same exact spot at the fork. I couldn't dare to take a step on either roads."

"Why? What made you stay there?"

"Uncertainty. Fear. Confusion. I didn't know who you were or why I was feeling you that strongly. It was a first in long nine years. I was afraid that you might be another false hope. Then little by little, it became clear to me." He smiled at her fondly as his hands started to caress her waist. "I would never get bored of listening to your voice. I would melt the second you touch me. I would be drifting to peace when you sing me those lullabies. I could feel the sun for the first time in years warming my skin when you were by my side. I finally understood that you were mine."

"And then I threw my tantrum at you." She pouted, remembering how she was harsh on him the night of the storm.

"And then, you, put sanity inside my brain and made me man up and take that road to finally come to you." Chan sighed and moved his face to hers, resting their foreheads against each other, letting his nose brush hers. "I panicked when I woke up and heard that you were sleeping. Hibernated." He whispered.

"You saved me. You woke me up." Alana whispered back. "I heard you inside of me. Your voice brought me back. It was strange. I didn't know your voice back then but somehow, it was too familiar to me. You kept telling me to take your hand and follow your voice." Alana pulled back to look at Chan's face. Her hand moved to cup his face. "You too, saved me, Chan. We saved each other."