Brendon anxiously prepares to go on stage next. He dresses with a black, wool-blended military jacket. The blazer is dark with gold trims, decorative buttons, and structured shoulders. Slightly inspired by Freddie Mercury. It is custom tailored, for his stage uniform for upcoming tour. The theme matches the aesthetic for the album's era. Before leaving the tourbus, his eyes catch a glimpse of an orange, square-frame sunglasses on his duffle bag. Only worn once for a photoshoot, he contemplates if it would beneficial to bring along. Besides the start of their performance with the sun still up, he prefers to not see his audience this time.
He ends up putting them on and heads outside into backstage. It is iDKHOW's set, finishing up their last song. Brendon couldn't concentrate properly, focusing on everything. He becomes extremely uneasy.
The constant flashing lights, the loud sounds of the music, and the amount of people backstage feels uncomfortable. Brendon starts forgetting to breathe and has a panic attack. Surely after 17 years of experience he would've grown comfortable with his job, but it feels different. His mind rushes too much into fear.
iDKHOW finishes the last line of their song, Do It All The Time, and the crowd bursts in applause. The whole band waves goodbye before departing offstage. They all have huge smiles on their faces as they head off as a group. Ryan spots something off with Brendon and taps Dallon. He points towards him and the two notice Brendon on the side panicking. His state of being frozen in suspense left him unaware of his current condition. They both looked around but no one seems to realise it happening. Dallon hesitates, sighs, and then walks away from his band's direction and paces towards Brendon, understanding the situation.
He can tell he is too overwhelmed. After gaining his attention, Dallon moves behind Brendon to a corner where it is blocking his view of everything else.
The taller man studies his eyes and tries to come up with ways to distract him on the spot.
"I see you copied my look," he refers to his shades as part of his stage attire. "Our sunglasses look so similar," he laughs at the lighthearted joke.
While he keeps chatting, Dallon visibly repeats a slow breathing technique, hoping Brendon will respond to following it. Dallon makes side comments every few draws of breath and points out objects around the room. Brendon keeps listening and slowly made his way to calming down.
"Are you alright there, pal?" he softly asks.
He nods his head. "Thanks..." he weakly says.
Dallon spots Brendon's golden microphone propped on the side cabinet. He grabs it and hands it to him.
"Better not forget this." he pauses, looks up, and smiles. "You're gonna to do great,"
Brendon stands still and watches him until he disappears. He grips tightly to his microphone and walks on stage.
- - -
And so, Panic! at the Disco's performance was over. The band was natural on stage. However, although Brendon screwed up from time to time during the set, he kept going. By the end, his voice was nearly gone because his vocal chords was so strained. He used proper technique, yet his throat was dry from feeling over-anxious.
Second day, he did not want to repeat the same mistake. He has to do it all over again.
Brendon grasps his guitar strap of the instrument he is carrying behind him. He remembers to hold on to focusing on something other than where he is right now.
Before heading on stage, Dallon passes by, smiles, and wishes him luck yet again. Brendon smiles back, feeling a bit of sense of relief. It is oddly reassuring.
---
It is currently very late at night. The festival is about to wrap up its last act. Some artists and musicians are still staying for the after party while others already left the park. The pitch black sky camouflaged the line of black tour buses of the different bands parked in the field. They are located far away from the performances but the field of music still echos past the distance.
Brendon carefully walks through the line of tour buses and counts the amount in his head.
He stops by after finding one he is expecting and approaches its glass doors.
"What am I even doing..." the singer says to himself and looks down at a small piece of paper in his hand. The number written of the bus belongs to iDKHOW.
He looks back up and notices no sudden motion, so he knocks again but harsher.
The tour bus swings the door open, revealing Dallon.
"Brendon...?" Dallon looks surprised to see him.
He shifts out of the way for him to step in. "Come on in!"
He nods his head and accepted the invitation inside.
"Wow..." The singer is impressed by their tour bus.
It is manufactured from a different company so the design is a bit dissimilar. Most of all, less modern unlike Panic's bus.
"Welcome to my humble abode. I know... Considering our budget, our tour manager was able to get us a pretty sweet ride. I did a lot of the decor though. Wanted to make it feel homely. It isn't big, but it's the closest thing to comfort we get while on the road,"
"It's kinda small," Brendon giggles, openly admitting it.
"Did you come here just to insult our bus..." Dallon banters.
"No. Sorry, sorry. I just wanted to stop by and say thank you..."
"For what...?" he questions.
"Well, I dunno, exactly. I guess for checking on me yesterday..." Brendon tries to find the words to express his gratitude.
Brendon realised he did not rehearse this in his head. Why did he have to?
He feels like the singer still has a sort of unsettled apprehension that still lingers. Brendon especially found it rather awkward when they always meet. Yet here he is on his tour bus.
"Hey... Are we still chill...? I know there may be a bit of tension between us. I'm sure you heard about Zack..."
It suddenly gets quiet.
"Yeah..." Dallon reluctantly answers.
"I never got to properly apologise. He was a part of Crush management. Which means it was out of my power to handle much. He was contracted as a long time employee which means we couldn't do anything otherwise we'd be up for lawsuit. His history had to be entirely investigated after we had proper evidence that arose online... Look, I'm sorry. Truly..." Brendon stammers along the way. "What I'm trying to mean- What I'm trying to say is I hope we can move on..." He extends his arm out, hoping for a handshake in agreement.
Dallon hesitates to accept it.
"Seeing as we're going to be touring together, it wouldn't be best holding aggressions..." Brendon states for the indecisive consideration.
After a pause, they both uncomfortably shake on it.
"Truce...?" Brendon nervously ask.
"Truce..." Dallon says with a straight face.
YOU ARE READING
Stuck In The Middle - Brallon
FanfictionTwo years after the pandemic, Brendon Urie, singer of the band, Panic! at the Disco, returns to his career after his break from away from social media. Dallon Weekes, his past subordinate, has his career grown, as did his own band named I Dont Know...
