When will I find home?

Start from the beginning
                                    

Nobody except Charles of course. He saw the entire thing.

With a knife to his own throat he swore to never tell on Sam.

Ever since, Sam began using him. In every way possible.

He made her wear Yuki's old clothes and a pink wig. No binder allowed, gender dysphoria through the roof. Sam managed to convince everyone that "the trans thing was just a phase". He made her woman again, against his will.

At one point, the illusion got too far. She shed a tear as she layed on a bed, naked, violated.

Only a year and a half of pure abuse later did Ariana have the courage to tell anyone about it, after making sure he was nowhere to be seen. The teacher she told called the police immediately. Sam got locked up for the rest of his life with no redemption.

Even through this, she still felt afraid for years on end. Always scared to be alone, because he'll get her. She was petrified to even think about trying to embrace her true self again. She grew out his hair and begun dressing pretty. But never ever did she wear Yuki's pink.

After graduation, Ariana wandered for a bit, going to a separate university and gaining a degree in biology and architecture. She got proposals from a few big servers, but she was very interested in Hermitcraft. It seemed very welcoming and friendly.

Soon after sending an acceptance email she got a response, telling her how to access the server and the rules.

Ariana officially joined Hermitcraft in May.

She quickly gained friends. The description of the server didn't lie - hermits were probably the kindest people Ariana's ever met. She felt so welcome here. Almost home.

But not quite.

Even though she got herself a boyfriend, she never told him about his true identity (despite the man being open about his bisexuality). Scar knew about all the trauma, as Ariana felt it was important for him to know why she sometimes got panic attacks or PTSD episodes.

She didn't want to burden him with more than necessary.

One day though, she broke.

Her emotions too overwhelming, the cutting didn't help. She bandaged her hands in a rush and very clumsily flew to the admin's base. Xisuma opened with a smile, which imiedly dropped at the sight of a disheveled Ariana.

Everything spilled out yet again. All his feelings and worries. And Xisuma just sat and listened. He never stopped the emotional overflow of the other. By the time she finished, the admin just took one look at her. The red cheeks. The tears in her eyes. The sorrow within them.

Then he just hugged him.

"Be whoever you want to be. There will be no judgement. I can guarantee you, everybody here shares that belief. Now, what can I do to make you the most comfortable in my server?"

Those words made him burst to tears again. It finally made him realize he was safe. Truly safe.

He cut his hair. Everyone complimented the look, even though they didn't know the correct pronouns yet. He let go of the female clothes, burning them as an act of rebellion against his past self. He of course left the ones he actually enjoyed, still dressing pretty classy.

The helmeted man once asked him what to call him. "Grian." The blonde said. "Oh, why is that?" Xisuma questioned. "See the colour of my hair?" A nod. "My best friend used to make fun of it saying it looked like grain and then begun calling me that, misspelling it on purpose," the admin laughed at the short story.

About two months after coming out to Xisuma, the admin was still the only one to know. Sure, he got some testosterone, but it made the trans man a bit annoyed that nobody else perceived him as he should be. Fortunately, pride month was coming up. That was the perfect opportunity to come out, especially since the hermits celebrated with flags and all.

Xisuma, at request, got him a trans flag. He felt very scared when he left his house for the first time with it on his back as a cape. When asked why he had it, he just told them "I'll answer in due time".

A party was held at one point, both to relax and celebrate pride. That's when the moment came. As Grian came up on the small stage and cleared his throat. He held up his flag for everyone to see.

"You all know what flag this is. A trans flag." He took a deep breath. "In the past, I've been raked through the mud. In my teenage years I went through hell, my identity basically stolen from me by a "friend" living in a dream, inflicting it on me in the form of all sorts of abuse. I wasn't able to ever represent myself as I wanted. He's in jail, but even after he got caught I was scared for years that he's out there to get me. But this fear ceased, thanks to your support. I couldn't be more thankful. Because of you, I'm finally not afraid to state my truth. My name is not Ariana. My name is Grian. I am a male. I use he/him pronouns. I will ignore anyone who won't respect that basic need."

The silence was deafening. But it was short-lived as just seconds later one voice was heard.

"So I've had a boyfriend all along."

It was Scar of course, who now ran up to embrace Grian, the blonde shedding tears of happiness. He felt small kisses being planted on his face from his boyfriend, which stopped as more and more people begun joining the hug.

This was it.

This is his home.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Jul 18, 2023 ⏰

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