It All Started With a Diary

skywrite

I chuckled. "You too."

Raven pulled herself together long enough to step up. "Okay." She shooed both men away. "Get out, she's ours."

I laughed as Levi began to protest, mostly wanting to stay with Raven more than any of us. Luke lifted himself from my sofa, following along before pausing.

It was a quick notion, but before Raven shut the door, he threw a sly shot of a wink Maggie's way. She threw up a middle finger in return, grumbled a curse, then turned to her brother.

Okay, then.

I remembered when she told me that they slept together a year ago, and I was right that time and this one. I was pretty sure there was something else going on. Or maybe they were pretending to hate even harder than ever, after what they did the night of the party.

Nonetheless, I thought the two were a matching set. Both were moody, sarcastic, foul-mouthed assholes, so I liked the idea if it was what I assumed.

But Maggie had mentioned dating some guy in town called Xander, but that was pretty much it. I thought they were solely just friends with benefits but Maggie seemed real interested in him. All I heard about him was that he was a good kisser and real sweet though. But that was all I expected to hear, because Maggie was secretive in certain aspects. She wouldn't tell you unless she wanted you to know, and you just had to respect that. I did, and I would continue to do so.

I wasn't one to talk, though. After the night in the shower with Kade a month ago, things were different. We were only physical.

I knew he wanted more. I could see it in his eyes, and hear it in his voice every single time we were around one another, but when I told him that I needed time, he said that he would accept anything I gave him. Even though I wanted to take the final leap, it was hard.

I loved him with my entire being, that was a fact. That small fear had diminished into a speck, but it remained just as it had before. I didn't know how to get rid of it, or if I even could at all.

Every time we slept together, I tried to tell myself that it would be the last time, but it didn't happen. It couldn't. The guilt grew each time since I knew that this could all possibly be nothing. I didn't want to string Kade along, but he never asked for more than what I offered myself. He accepted my wishes, and treated it as if it were the best thing he'd ever been given.

"I love the way you decorated," Raven complimented with a smile, glancing around the apartment. "It looks even better in person." Jax and Maggie nodded in agreement.

"Thank you. Kade did most of the work though. He arranged all of it." I chuckled at the memory.

Three sets of eyes fell on me with curiosity. I waited until a couple of weeks ago to tell them about Kade being my neighbor. Raven, specifically, was the most pissed that I hid it, but it didn't last long. I reassured that there was nothing going on between us, and that was true. At the time.

I expected Maggie to be just as angry, but she hadn't been. All she had to say was that she wanted me to be happy, no matter what route I chose. Jax was only curious if I slept with him.

"How's that been going?" Jax cut through the silence, eyeing me. I didn't like the way he was looking at me, as if he knew something that I didn't want him to know.

I moved away from his accusing eyes. Swallowing past the thick lump in my throat, I nodded. "It's been good. I think he's getting tired of it all, honestly."

I glanced to Raven, who was examining me over a little too closely. I glazed my expression over until she backed off.

Maggie stared at me for a beat too long, her eyes narrowed. She wasn't too different from either of them, but was less obvious about it. Finally, she cleared her throat and crossed her arms, attention falling to the small tree I set up.