A Court of Golden Shadow || Elain x Azriel

Chapter 40 - Collapsed

"The position of High Lady should not be pursued out of political interest." Feyre interjected. "There should be a passion— for the people and the court." Her eyes drew then to Elain, the group now waiting for her answer.

"One can always learn the ways of a people." Mor answered back. "I have felt very connected to other courts throughout my life. Elain is young and formerly lived near the Spring lands. She could always learn how to rule, especially if its what the other High Lords want..."

"And then there's the flowers..." Cassian chuckled as he looked toward Rhys and then back toward Elain. "Apparently having your mouth stuffed with rose petals is a surprisingly gnarly way to suffocate."

Elain blushed as Azriel smirked toward his brothers.

"But Spring powers are different than power over plants." Nesta raised her voice, a whiny tone beginning to reveal her frustration. "The High Lords insinuated that she is a goddess of life."

"Exactly." Elain nodded toward Nesta before locking her eyes upon each member of the Inner Circle as she spoke, her voice wavering slightly as she pushed through. "You see, for so long I felt that I needed to ascend to the levels of my sisters— that I should pursue things like becoming a great warrior or High Lady," her eyes rested on Nesta before flashing to her younger sister. "I have even pushed myself to do what is logical—what the Cauldron has chosen for me, and even what others here have pushed me into." Her eyes pierced across the table toward Rhys, who dropped his eyes to his hands, a color rising to his cheeks. "I know now, after making many mistakes," she smiled warmly toward Azriel then, squeezing his hand under the table," that I must follow my heart. Even if it doesn't seem logical, and even if it does not suit our inter-court relations."

She took a breath, closing her eyes for a moment before she continued, her lashes now wet with emotion as she locked eyes with each faerie sitting at the table, her voice now strong and steady.

"The Night Court is my home. You are my home. My family is here... my hobbies... my LIFE. I want to see Nyx grow up. I've changed since becoming fae, becoming somewhat... magical I guess, but I also have many of the same dreams— to love and be loved. To build a home with the one I love and to enjoy my family. That is enough for me—to be Queen of my own life. So," she took a breath, throwing her shoulders back as she gazed across the table at Rhysand. "I would like to formally decline the proposition. And not because of what happened in Winter. I want to decline because my heart tells me it is not right. I know what I truly desire: peace. Normalcy. Family. Love... a simple life to some, but a perfect life for me." She finished the speech, almost out of breath from the exhaustion of pouring out her soul to her friends and family as a warm silence flooded the room.

Rhys nodded then, a soft expression filling his eyes as Morrigan smiled and Nesta's hands stopped twisting in her lap. Nyx giggled then, clapping his hands together, his chubby cheeks rosy as he grinned at everyone.

"Well girl..." Amren's dark voice drawled across the room, "I'm sure I can always conjur up another method of conquering the Spring Court." She smiled wickedly, winking at Elain who nodded gratefully.

Mor spoke next, leaning her elbows onto the table, her eyes boring into Elain's. "I admire you dear. It is no small thing to be true to who you are."

"Well I'm sure as hells not letting you go live in the fucking Spring Court, so I'm glad you came to that decision on your own." Nesta huffed, clearly trying to hide her pleased expression as she crossed her arms, allowing her shoulders to finally relax.

"I'm allergic as hells to that gods-damned court, so I say good riddance." Cassian smiled not at Elain, but toward his brother before he winked at Elain and threw his muscled arm behind Nesta's chair, hugging his mate close to his shoulder. "Honestly, I think something about that place makes faeries go a little nuts..." He widened his eyes as Feyre elbowed his side.