It All Started With a Diary

notes

I blew out a shaky breath, my chest trembling under it. "So...let me get this straight," I recalled for my own clarity. "You left Washington, and moved all of the way here."

"That's right."

I blinked at his response, and how easily he gave it. "Half way across the country? Hours away from everything, and from everyone you know? Just to...earn me back?"

"I would have gladly followed you to the ends of earth had you gone."

I stumbled back into the frame of the door as his words took a swing at me. In an attempt to shrug them off, I instead focused on the brewing anger. How dare he?

"You're an asshole," I hissed under my breath. "An ignorant, self-centered asshole. How dare you come back to the mess you made? I haven't even forgiven you, and you think it's okay to..." I trailed off to allow myself a minute to breathe. I tried to reroute every plan, every distraction I made to avoid him, but it was all so jumbled.

He looked taken aback, but he faltered back into step quickly. His expression softened over as he dug his hands into his pockets. "I know you haven't forgiven me because I haven't earned it.Yet. But, I'm going to get it. I'm going to try to get you back if it's the last thing I do, sweetheart." A small grin danced across his face, the one that usually sent me into a round of laughter. But this time, my frown remained.

I glowered at him, stepping closer until we were only paces apart. "You're not." I jabbed my finger into his chest, narrowing my eyes. "It's not going to happen anytime soon, so you should save yourself the trouble. Call the owner, and get your money back, Kade."

Kade shrugged his shoulders, watching over me with the same set of determination. "There's absolutely no trouble in showing you how much you mean to me," he responded. "The only trouble is having to go without my perfect girl, having to see you without me at your side, seeing you so goddamned beautiful and myself not being the one to say it to you."

He shook his head. "And, I won't have it. I won't give up until you directly tell me to leave. I respect you more than anything, and I'll listen, but I need you to tell me it yourself. Do you want me to leave?" His eyes held buckets of fear and worry for my response, despite the feigned confidence in his tone.

I sucked in a breath as I stared back at him. Both of our chests heaved in anticipation as we dared the other to speak.

The exhaustion was beginning to dawn on me. Finally, I broke the silence, "Fine," I murmured under my breath. "Go ahead and try your stupid plan. I'll let you tire your own self out." I saw his eyes trip with relief before I forced the key into the hole.

"I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart," his voice struck with me with the same heaps of shock as before.

I cursed his very existence as I slammed the door in his face. "The hell you will."

I didn't even bother locking it. The key clattered to the floor, and I followed right along with it.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the—

I needed to think, but it was doing me no good. Right now, my mind and heart were right back at the starting line. Trying so dangerously hard to silence the other, but failing so miserably.

Kade was here, and he wasn't leaving anytime soon. I wasn't even sure how he found me. I didn't think Raven would tell him, so it had to be Levi. That traitorous prick.

I placed my hand against my frantic thumping chest in order to console myself. It was nearly laughable how useless the action was. Instead, I shut my eyes, letting my head fall back against the door.