Bonded

21

"When I, Yoongi Hyung and Hope-ah decided to have 3 solo tracks for the album; Yoongi Hyung instantly decided to have the theme of Seesaw. You know a tiring relationship and Hope-ah went for his passion mixing it with the want to dance with someone else. Because the both of them are the only ones who haven't found their soulmate in Bangtan," He snickered mischievously making Mishil snicker along. "And I was left alone!" He pouted cutely, making Mishil giggle out and place a kiss on the pout.

"Themeless and completely blank. I was almost going to give up when Jiminie and Mi-Eun bonded. I mean, it was clear that they were going to be soulmates but their bonding really shoved the idea in my face. I wasn't exactly informed or experienced in the romantic field so it took me a while. But I was actually thinking about what I feel about love in general. What I would say to my soulmate and what I really feel about them. When the song was finished and I felt I had written a full-fledged letter to my soulmate; in case I ever found them that is," While he talked about his music, waving hands and sparkling eyes, Mishil simply kept on listening to him, watching as the passion for music tumbled out of his words. 

He was capable of pouring his heart out through lyrics and explaining the most complex of emotions simply through the simplistic beauty of lyricism. "I wrote it so that whoever might be my soulmate would understand that I didn't hate them. I was just unsure if I was capable of taking care of another person. If I was fully prepared to have someone else in my life."

"It's a beautiful song Joonie," Mishil assured. "Had you told me before, I'd have understood your feelings and given you more time, to you know adjust," 

"Now don't say that Mish," Namjoon turned to look her in the eye. "What has happened, happened for the best. And I wouldn't have it any other way," 

"I'm glad you're mine," Mishil mumbled against the skin of his neck, breathing in his scent. Namjoon looked down at her fondly, kissing her hair. "Speaking of love, can I ask you something?" Her voice went down to a shy mumble, almost inaudible. "You know you can baby," He squeezed her form reassuringly.

"Did you have someone in your life before me?" This. This was the question she'd been meaning to ask all evening. His honesty was all she needed. This answer to this question determined if the crack in the trust would be mended or if it would crack even more.

His silence scared her. His lack of response scared her. The way he stared into the ceiling instead of turning to look her in the eye. Love was a scary thing, truly. How the simplest of someone's actions, their words, their touch and everything they do ends up mattering so much that it almost hurts.  As much as Mishil didn't acknowledge it, she was very much attached to her soulmate. She loved him and she knew that.

"I won't say that I didn't have anyone." Namjoon started, his voice was cautious. "I'm a human like any other baby. So, I did have a few flings here and there, and I did think some of them would get serious. But none of them did. And after a while, I was done with people and I had given up. But none of that matters to me anymore," Finally he turned to look her in the eye. They were swirling with an odd sort of emotions, the sincerity of his words seeping out of his eyes. "I'd trade all of that, everything, to find you sooner,"

How did he do this? How did he make mere words so expressive and so beautiful? How did he make her heart clench soo hard? How did he make her soo happy that she could cry?

Who leant forward first, they don't know. But their lips meet halfway, almost with bruising force as their hands became busy pulling the other as close as possible. They met like fierce crashing waves, a frenzied mess of lips, tongue and teeth. They knew all too well what they wanted.