Baddies of the BAU
Derek: GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME
JJ: 😶
Y/n: babes.... no one is near you...... you need to speak to a therapist again?🤔
Emily: 😊‼️
Derek: STOP MAKING MY LIFE A LIVING HELL GOD DAMN IM BOUTA CALL YOU SO MANY FUCKING SLURS RN
Hotch: What's going on...?
Y/n: fuck if I know 🤷🏻♀️
Rossi: Emily keeps slapping his bald head
Emily: AS SHE SHOULD!!!
Derek: YOU ARE "SHE" FUCKING MORON I WILL CUT YOUR HANDS OFF ONG😡😡😡
Garcia: D... :0
Hotch: who pissed in his cheerios this morning lmao
Hotch: I mean
Hotch: Emily stop smacking his bald, shiny, glowing, light reflecting head
Derek: I will kill myself 🧍🏾♂️ then what?
Rossi: oh
Reid: I'm trying to work guys.
Derek: Who.
Reid: I said I am.
Derek: ASKED😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😈
Emily: the one devil emoji adds alot
Derek: he's shy 🤷🏾♂️
Y/n: like DEEz NUTS WOOOOOO
Garcia: Whys the z lower case?
Y/n: god hates me I think idk
Garcia: :0
Rossi: illiterate
Y/n: David
Rossi: Hey
Y/n: don't you have gravestones to be picking out? Hospice care to be looking into? Nursing homes? Garve sites? Wills to right? Death beds to pick out? Googling retirement plan options? Doesn't your 401k need to be dealt with?
Emily: FUCK😭 GOD DAMN 💋 😘 GO Y/N FR
Hotch: LMAO
Derek: GAH DAMN💀 ROSSI DESERBED IT THO FR😍😍😍😍 #DEGRADETHATGILF
Y/n: do what to the what now🤨
JJ: what the fuck Derek
Derek: my bad yall my bad ☝🏾😖 got carried away there
Derek: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Y/n: Errmm okay.... uh
Y/n: Anyways ill give head to whoever does my paperwork
Derek: ME MW EME PELASE IM SO SMART PLEASE
Hotch: 🧍🏻♂️
Y/n: nothings stopping YOU from doing it js goddamn
Emily: Derek you're dumb as shit you barely get yours done
Reid: I'd offer to do it but your boyfriend is our boss and I like this job and I also don't want "head" so.
Derek: ik he was sweating while typing that 😭😭
Y/n: Hands shaking n everything 💀😭
Reid: ?
Emily: y/n I'll do your paperwork:)
JJ: No you won't
Emily: Y/n, I can't do your paperwork I'm sorry I have plans
Derek: FUCKK😭💀 Y/n fr got the whole team purrrrr😈☝🏾
Y/n: as I should
Hotch: I'm literally right here
Y/n: Yeah I see that
Emily: PFFF
Derek: daddy Dom hotch don't deserve that
Y/n: his ass ain't no daddy dom🙄💅🏻 puhlease
JJ: Wow never thought we'd ever be discussing if our boss is a daddy dom or not what a world we live in
Derek: society 😈😈
Y/n: OH GOD NO FUCK EVERYONE RUN!!!!!
Derek: man 😕☝🏾 UR RACIST.
Y/n: what now
JJ: I'm so tired
Derek: Cracker
Rossi: I like crackers they're good in soup!
Derek: canabilism.. a shame...
Hotch: 💀 leave the old man alone
Y/n: THE OLD MAN FUCK😭😭 POOR ROSSI
Rossi: I'm far from poor
Y/n: okay big man, tone it down alright 🙄 you and your mansion
Emily: I'll catch all his assets on fire what then
Derek: me☹️
Garcia: real
YOU ARE READING
BAU groupchat + Reader
Fanfictionhow I think the BAU team would text eachother except you're also on the team dealing with their antics Some stuff is out of character and I exaggerated their personalities for comedic value, enjoy!
