The Light in the Darkness

Chapter 18:

"Zo."

I looked up and my mom was standing at the door.

"We will leave you two alone." Jace said, looking over at Louis. They got up. I couldn't keep my heart from pounding fast; there's only two ways this could go.

"No, you can stay, both of you." "Mom said. "I want you to hear this."

Jace sat back down and took my hand. I usually could read my mom's mind just by looking at her but her eyes said nothing; they just stared blankly at me. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.

"The doctors and I have had a talk." She said, She paused before continuing. "They aren't going to send you away."

"Yes!" I said excitedly.

"But." She added.

My breath caught in my throat.

"You have to be under someone's watchful eye at all times." She said, "That's where you two come in."

She looked at Jace than to Louis.

"I've already talked to the others but you two are going to be her main watchers. You need to make sure she eats, and takes care of herself when she isn't at home.

"So I'm going to babysit? Better off just sending me away, I'm getting the same treatment both ways." I groaned.

"I would rather have you be watched by people you know than strangers." She said,

I sighed, crossing my arms. I can't believe what I'm hearing.

"They are giving you a week, Zoë. It's just to help you stay on track, to make sure you are doing well. At the end of the week, they will check on you. They are checking and seeing if you are clean from cutting and have gained some weight. If you fail, they will send you away."

"But." I said. "Do I have to be watched twenty four seven?"

"Yes. It's for your protection, Zoë. They believe that you are still a danger to yourself."

"Great." I sighed.

"Zoë, your mom is right. It's either this or rehab. You will do better here than in that place." Louis said, facing me. "It's really a good idea."

"I know." I said softly. "It will take getting used too but I'll try and make it work."

"Good." Jace said, kissing my cheek.

"I'll go talk to your doctor about releasing you."

"Okay." I said smiling.

I was happy that they weren't sending me away but can I really deal with being watched twenty four seven? I know I don't really have a choice but will I ever get to breathe again. Anger, joy and sadness surged through me. I'm angry at myself for taking it this far, I'm happy I'm not getting sent away and I don't know why. I'm feeling so sad, maybe it's just the depression biting at my ankles again. That's one thing I can't let get to me especially this week. My mind swirled. Can I do this?

~~~

I left Zoë's room to get some air. So much has happened so fast, I'm overwhelmed. I sat on the bench outside the hospital doors, the cold air hitting me. I took a sharp deep breath. I'm relieved that they aren't sending Zoë away, more than relieved but I can't shake the feeling she isn't happy about this decision. She'll be okay, I know. I sat there smiling; I saved her and will continue to save her. I looked up at the cloudy sky, threatening us with rain. A cold chill shot through me. I got up to head back in.

"Umm, Jace?"

I stopped in my tracks, that familiar voice; so light and lifting, lifted my heart. That voice is full of smiles and laughter that could melt anyone's heart. That tone hasn't been used on me for a long time. I turned and met the blues eyes of Louis. He looked down and traced a tattoo on his wrist, like he was lost in thought. He looked up and those sapphire eyes met mine again.