A Court of Golden Shadow || Elain x Azriel

Chapter 33 - It Will Kill Me

Fury rose from Elain's chest, and she threw her shoulders back, but it was Feyre who reacted first. Rising in front of her sister, she closed in, nose-to-nose with Lucien.

"That is enough." The High Lady's chilling voice pierced the atmosphere, sending a chill down Elain's spine. "How dare you speak of Tamlin in this house, as if he had any wisdom to offer you. Hear yourself Lucien! His words are poison."

Lucien snarled at her. "How was he wrong Feyre? What about his warnings do not ring true? You Made-Fae females can't keep your hands off these wretched beasts."

Elain felt, rather than saw, the ball of fire glowing within Feyre's palm, Rhysand suddenly behind his mate, a dejected yet angry expression covering his face as he grabbed Feyre's wrist, holding her back from striking the fireling. Azriel was sauntering toward the scene as well, his siphons beginning to fire up, no doubt eager for an altercation with the angry lordling.

A fight was about to boil over. Here in Velaris. Maybe even a Blood Duel in this damn study.

She felt a wave of exhaustion heave over her, the stress of the past few months threatening to swallow her whole. It didn't have to be like this. She didn't hate Lucien... she didn't want him to suffer... didn't want him to feel humiliated. This had to end. Now.

"Leave us." Elain's voice cut through the unfolding drama, her eyes pleading toward Feyre and Azriel to comply.

The High Lady turned from Lucien to stare at her sister, seemingly judging and assessing the level of threat.

"For fucks sake, I'm not going to set her on fire." Lucien spat at Feyre, turning away from the group and back toward the fireplace.

"Fine. But we will be outside in the hall." Feyre answered after surveying the fireling, her eyes penetrating Elain's.

Rhysand moved to leave, shaking his head and striding across the study, he drew his hand to his temple and dragged Feyre along with the other. Azriel however, did not move an inch, his shadows still swirling and creeping up Lucien's legs, his siphons glowing.

"Please." Elain implored, drawing her eyes to Azriel's. "I know he will not hurt me. I would like to speak with him alone."

Azriel paused for a long moment, clearly torn between honoring her wishes and protecting her from danger. She smiled at him softly again, nodding an encouraging expression. The Shadowsinger evidently decided to comply, exiting the room in a huff, leaving a comically large pile of defensive shadows in his wake.

Elain stepped away from Lucien then, to face the window overlooking the gardens. She laid a hand upon a robin's egg blue upholstered chair facing the curtained bay window and rested her eyes upon her hydrangea bushes, willing the peace of her flowers to invade her soul.

"I can't do this anymore Lucien." Elain said quietly without turning to face him. "I told you, back in Patras, on one of our first evenings of the courting, that I wanted to trust the Cauldron. I wanted to see if it was correct in its choice— if I could love you beyond friendship."

She paused slightly, turning to him then as Lucien drew his eyes to her, his mechanical eye whirring quietly as the fire retreated back into his heart. "And after our time together, I now know that I can't." Elain's voice was quiet yet firm, her hands clasped in front of her.

"Because of him." Lucien snarled, angry flames glowing in his palms again. "You can't because of HIM."

"No." She stated firmly, her eyes falling back to the window across the billowing lilacs blowing in the breeze. "Azriel has merely given me the courage to do what I've wanted to do for awhile. I would like to officially reject the mating bond."