Ctrl + Alt + Dalt (BxB)

Ctrl + Alt + Dalt + 11

~ ~ ~

In his company, the day seems to go by much too quickly. After getting dinner within the hotel's restaurant, I soon find myself at the departure gate lounge at SFO. Sitting across from Edmund, staring into his icy halos, he wears an odd expression that I recognize from the first night in the bar, but this time, he's also rubbing his temples. He lowers his hands seemingly as soon as he notices me staring with a bit of concern. He gently smiles and I try to return a brave one of my own, but I can't help but feel the lurking loneliness creeping into me with the mere thought of being separated from him. He reaches down into his luggage, unzipping the second compartment.

"I've had my reservations, but I've finally decided to give this to you," he says as he hands me a thin rectangle, neatly gift-wrapped in silver paper.

"What is it?" I ask, taking the present from him.

"Do you remember the photo I asked to take of us?" he asks and I glance at the gift. Knowing that I've yet to handle my situation with Jordan, not wanting to see any likeness of him, I quickly return my gaze to Edmund and simply nod. "Right. I'm sure you can imagine why I've hesitated to give this to you until this very moment."

"A shame that I may have to cut his image out." I run my thumb along the edge, the wrappings crinkle as I trace the borders of a solid frame underneath.

"Whatever happens, you will still always have me," he says as his boarding group is called up over the speakers. We both stand and I extend my hand, knowing that he might appreciate the formal discretion in such a public place. He shakes my hand, but then pulls me tightly into his body for a hug, taking me by surprise. His lips brush my ear, sending wild tingles under the skin of neck and shooting along my spine, he whispers, "you've no idea how badly I want to kiss you."

"It seems that we'll both have to settle for a hug," I whisper, smirking into his ear with the apparent realization that we seem to be sharing the same exact thought. The announcement for his boarding group repeats and I sigh, soaking in his citrus cologne as he squeezes me tighter before pulling away to collect his luggage.

"Let no goodbyes," he says as he breaks away. He starts for the boarding terminal, but as he walks, he turns his head back to me with a flash of a smile. "I'll see you in London."

I return his smile, remembering the words that he spoke while we laid next to one another—the words that seemed to cement our relationship within my mind. He shows the attendant his boarding ticket and enters into the ramped corridor, turning back to pay me one last smile before he disappears behind the turn. If two days felt something akin to a lifetime with him, then two weeks will be an unbearable eternity without him.

"See you in London..." I whisper towards him as if he were still next to me holding me in his arms.

~ ~ ~

It's Saturday morning. The day that I usually head over to Jordan's to help him with his YouTube productions has finally come. The day that I've dreaded and agonized over is finally here. I glance at Edmund's gift sitting on my nightstand, lying flat against the surface of the table, silver wrappings glinting, it still remains unopened. After a quick breakfast, I drive over to Jordan's studio apartment.

All of the filming goes off without much of a hitch, even though I'm rather silent and detached throughout. As he sits at his computer to start editing, I pack up the equipment while I find myself staring at his second phone that's now sitting on his desk next to his keyboard.

"Zero—two—one—four," I say, holding the video tripod behind his back, feeling the weight of it as if it's a bludgeon. His fingers stop typing as I set the tripod down. He glances towards his second phone, all but practically confirming Brogan's info. He turns back to me, wearing a puzzled look.

"What is that?" he asks, seemingly confused or feigning so.

"Zero—two—one—four," I repeat myself, hoping to see his expression give him away, but all I receive is his raised brow. "The last four digits of your phone number."

"You already know my phone number is—"

"The other one," I cut him off, glaring at his second phone. He narrows his eyes and glances at his other phone.

"That one's extremely private. I never gave it to you." His brow raises with perhaps a look of concern. He takes the phone away, tucking it back into his pocket.

"So, it's true, then. It was you," I say, hoping that he'll just come forward and explain himself already.

"Me what?" he asks, seeming to appear utterly confused.

"You outed me," I say, calmly as he slowly looks down to the floor as if to admit his guilt. I sigh, waiting for some sort of explanation. "Were you just playing me, pretending to be my friend—"

"I am your friend." He returns to lock eyes with me, seeming to wear an expression of hurt. "I wasn't playing you."

"Then, why did you out me? I don't get it. Were you trying to get back at me?"

"No, I didn't know. I'm sorry."

"You didn't know that sending pictures of me in your car and telling people—"

"No, I didn't know he'd spread it around. I thought I knew him better than that."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Travis," he says, shaking his head.

"That one idiot who called me? What does he have to do with this?" I ask just as it dawns on me that Travis must be the missing link—Brogan's source.

"I'm sorry, it was my fault and I found out only much later and after the fact." He sighs, closing his eyes. "I trusted him, but he betrayed me and spilled your secret."

"Why did you tell him in the first place?" I ask, still unable to grasp why he was even talking to someone he shouldn't have been able to talk to at all, someone within the popular group—something just isn't adding up.

"He's in the closet, Dalt. He's stuck with living the lie that you and I managed to escape from. We were... involved," he admits as my eyes widen in utter amazement.

"You and Travis? Behind the popular group's back? This whole time?" I ask, laughing, practically congratulating him for managing such a feat—I can barely believe my ears. It's utterly astounding that there was a secret affair with an outcast and it remained undetected and pretty much right under the group's nose. Now, with all the context revealed, that idiot's phone call finally seems to make sense.

"Sort of, yeah. But, that's long over, now—I ended it with him as soon as I found out that he told everyone about you. I'm sorry." He shuts his eyes and buries his face into his hands. "It's all my fault. I'll understand if you don't want anything more to do with me."

"I wanted to hate you, but the truth is that I couldn't. I thought that I would have to come here and face you as someone who was just rightfully trying to return what I deserved," I say as he looks back up at me before I continue, "I would have forgiven you either way, but at least this makes it so much easier, since it's not your fault."

"But it is my fault."

"No, it's that Travis idiot. Just because he's in the closet, doesn't give him the right." I sigh, realizing that, in all fairness, I may as well forgive Travis, also. "Honestly, I can hardly blame him either. I feel bad for him. Being stuck in the straight jacket, he did to me what I essentially did to you. Either way, I got what I deserved."

"So you forgive me?" he asks, hesitantly, his amber eyes wide.

"Of course. Without you and all of this, I wouldn't have..." my voice trails off as I stop myself from mentioning Edmund, reminding myself to maintain his absolute privacy. I quickly correct myself, "I wouldn't have broken free from living that lie."

If Jordan notices my near slip up, he certainly doesn't show any sign of it. I breathe a sigh of major relief. Glad that I get to keep Jordan's friendship without any worries, I offer to treat him out to lunch—anywhere he wants to go. He looks at me with a mischievous smirk—a look that tells me everything that I need to know. Before he even manages to say another word, I already know that he wants to go out to the Castro tonight. My stomach tightens, feeling queasy—the mere thought of someone flirting with me makes me feel as if I'm already cheating on Edmund.