Desire of heart?

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I feel like a different person. It can't be me. How is he still alive. These thoughts were sprouting in my mind.....terrified that yoongi would leave me. It had happened before, and I wasn't prepared. He is still alive right? that was just a bad dream....right?
But then if that was just a dream, and all those memories with him were fake, then the house I burnt meant nothing. The dusty doll that meant the world to me, never existed. And so I became....more afraid. And that was the reason I felt different, a bit insane. loosing my sanity yet  kept hope at the same time, as I soon began to loose sleep with the same terrifying nightmare over and over again.
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"JIMIN LET GO!!!" You scratch jimin's hand, while watching yoongi about to hang himself.....Again. "You're gonna leave me?! I love you" He wasn't crying.....why is he pretending to cry when there are no tears. All I saw was his sinister eyes, that haunted me. He was making me feel guilty.
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Making me feel guilty about everything.....Absolutely everything.
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You started to see jimin as someone evil, because of the guilt trip and that horrible nightmare, which was destroying your relationship with him.....and reaching its end. Another thought crossed your mind, what if he was trying to separate me from yoongi....so he could have yoongi all to himself.
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Even though non of it was true.
You stopped thinking.....
Consumed by anxiety and darkness.....
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"yoongi~" Soft moans escapes your mouth from the slight touches of his fingers across my sensitive skin, "Feels good" whispering in his ears...."I'm going to cum-".....

Yoongi wakes up drenched in sweat, along with his heavy breathing, as he realises it was just a dream. He looks under the blanket, experiencing a boner. "crap" Blushing uncontrollably as he takes a long peak at your sleeping face. 

Ever since the kiss, he couldn't stop thinking about all the lewd stuff he could do to you. Which soon turned into desirable dreams. "This...this is wrong" He covered his mouth from sexual arousal, finding the dream to be too real as he remembered every single detail. Slowly starting to understand why Jimin disliked the fact of him living under the same roof as me....a female. He looked at the time, It was 2am. He felt hesitant on what to do.

Yoongi took the opportunity to quickly jerk off for some relief while looking at your peaceful face. He started to feel more attracted to you than before, while jittering his hand up and down, trying to cover himself with the blanket. His expressions soon found lust, while licking his lips. 

(quite moan)

He lets it out, dripping with white liquid as he breathes out in relief and bliss. Seeing you still asleep, he thought how ridiculous it was to do this in front of you, since you could have woken up. Feeling embarrassed, he sighs again.

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"I should look for work....now" You could see him working hard everyday, making you feel useless and angry. Yoongi looks at you with confusion, "(sigh) if you want, it's your choice, just make sure to stay safe." It was morning again as he was leaving for work with hid bicycle. "Be home on time" Tightening his grip around the handle from frustration, scared of loosing you.

You looked at him in sadness, hoping you would find work with your limited job skills.....hoping to dear life that jimin wouldn't be your last option....but at the same you wanted that to happen....

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I will make sure he doesn't even look at yoongi ever again.

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