What's for Breakfast?

Twelve: Strong Women

I fidget, my annoyance flaring. "Stop kidding around, Derek. You're always striving to avoid the topic," I mutter under my breath. "I don't want us to be awkward. It's not like what happened was... My fault."

He darts his attention away and doesn't say anything. Dang. He's back at it again. His mood swings are frustrating.

"What? You're silent again?" I hiss.

"Alright, fine," Derek groans. "I'm not going to avoid you even if it's for your sake."

I huff. "When are you going to grow up? I'm trying to talk and clear the air but all you do is joke around--"

"I'm sorry," he interrupts.

"Huh?"

"I said I'm sorry."

Derek is still looking outside the window, so I can't see his expression. "Why are you suddenly apologizing?"

"I shouldn't have... Invaded your personal space. It's wrong," he admits. "We're not kids anymore. I can't just..."

My heart thuds. I knead my shoulders uneasily. "Um, at least you know."

"I do. I don't want you to think I don't respect you. That's why I'm apologizing. For everything."

I press my lips together. What he is saying means a lot to me, albeit late. I was uncomfortable with what he did on the first night he moved back and how he casually touched me. I was also not okay with how backed me into a corner and how he towered over me a few nights ago.

Okay, truth be told, I didn't entirely dislike the contact. There was an intimacy to it, a warmth in his touch. But what I didn't like was how it made me feel so vulnerable, as if he had control over me. He doesn't. And I won't let him.

"I'm sorry."

"Just don't... Don't do it again."

"I won't," he answers, and with a half-smile, he says, "Unless you want me to touch you, I won't touch you."

He says it in a way that makes my cheeks turn rosy. Shit.

Derek laughs, apparently expectant of my reaction.

"Screw you, Derek. Don't laugh at me," I seethe, wincing. "And I still don't get why you were mad."

He flinches, his laughter abruptly fading. He taps his fingers on the dashboard.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks.

"You haven't even answered me--"

"Why are you still single, Sam?"

His sudden question catches me off guard. Why is this topic on the table? But alright. He intends to dodge my question, as usual. But I'll get it out of him at some point.

"Whoa, um okay... Well... I don't know. I go on dates. They just don't work."

"But why?"

"I said I don't know. And honestly, I don't care anymore."

"For what it's worth, if you were being yourself, then you wouldn't have lost the guy," he replies. "You're awesome, Sam. You... Looked beautiful in that wedding dress."

I steal a glance at him, unable to hide the suppressed smile on my face. The rush of emotions Derek keeps inflicting on me is starting to take its toll. How long can my body withstand these waves?

"Maybe you intimidate them."

"What?" I ask, lips slightly parting. "What do you mean?"

"What did you usually talk about with your previous blind dates?"