Quest and Tillie

Chapter 12: Not Even Close

I gave her a slight grin and shook my head. "Geez, I'm pathetic."

"We don't talk about ourselves like that," she said immediately. "Tell me what you'd rather be doing."

"Well, I've been researching careers that only require a two-year degree, and the one that sounded really interesting to me was being a physical therapist assistant."

"Do you have a plan?" she asked me.

As a matter of fact, I did. I sketched it out to her, telling her I'd found a program at the local community college two towns over that would allow me to work and go to school. In about five semesters, I'd be a PTA.

"Is your family excited for you?"

"I have no idea," I admitted. "You're the first person I told. I signed up for classes today and I begin next month, after the first of the year."

"And why haven't you told anyone?" she asked me. 

Shrugging, I thought about her question. "Because I needed to do this on my own. I didn't want anyone's input or opinions on the matter. They'll probably be concerned that I'm giving up the bank. Maybe think I'm doing this as a reaction to --"

"To?" Monica prompted when I stopped.

"To Quest."

"Are you?"

"No. This is just something that's been bubbling inside me for a long time, but I felt like I had to stay at the bank for Ed, because it was steady work with long-term job security. I never went to college, so I felt like maybe it was the best I could do. And it was fine. Ed was -- is -- a great boss, but I really thought about what my future looked like, and working at the bank just wasn't interesting to me, long term. So I took some personality tests, looked at the matches for my personality type, narrowed down my options and researched them. Being a PTA matched my skills and personality traits and it sounded really interesting."

"Well, good for you. Your face lit up when you were telling me your plans and I think that's a good sign. How's living in the apartment going?"

"Great," I enthused. "It's good, and I like going home to relax, knowing Spring is there waiting for me. Sometimes I meet Chelle and Stasia for dinner and drinks, I stop by mom and dad's every weekend and some other friends and I have started hiking and running local trails for exercise."

"It sounds like you're keeping busy, and when you start school you'll be even busier."

"Busy is good," I assured her. "I'm finding new things I like, I'm on my own and for the first time I really feel like an adult who can handle her shit. I'm taking care of myself with no one's help and succeeding."

"Good for you, Tillie," she said.

"Good for me," I murmured back.

I was on my own, thriving, standing on my own two feet...but I still thought about Quest. All the time. I hadn't seen him in three months, hadn't even seen his truck around town, but he still left flowers on my car, with the notes and ribbons every single day. 

So, one Saturday afternoon when Spring and I were relaxing on an old quilt by my favorite spot along the river, I thought for a minute that I'd conjured my husband when I heard a deep voice call my name.

I sat up and turned to face him as Spring ran over to sniff his work boots. He was wearing worn jeans, a white T-shirt and an unbuttoned black and tan flannel shirt. His hair was a bit longer and he looked...delicious, that perfect body moving toward me with purpose.

The serious look on his face as he took me in was so familiar, I ached for the way things used to be between us, for the man who I knew inside and out. For the man who would never have done what he did to me.