Blue Sun

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You'd been back from your trip to Hawaii for two weeks now and things were proceeding...questionably. The conversation with Law dwelled on your mind ever since your return and dampened any positive mood you held. You couldn't stop thinking about the struggle Shachi and Penguin were already going through and how shaky your own feelings were. In a sense, you really were leading them on. It needed to stop.

Within the first few days, you paid Shachi for the parts and he went and fixed your car. You expressed how grateful you were, you even baked him a whole cake and bought him a new set of wrenches, which he was as excited as a school boy about. But after that, that was the last time you hung out with him and Penguin. You still answered their texts occasionally, but you needed to put distance. If none of you were willing to talk about what was going on, and something was certainly going on, then it needed to stop completely.

At first, it was easy. Your replies to their texts weren't cold, you kept the same kindness with them you always had, but you definitely left them on read more often than before. It didn't take long for them to notice either. Penguin seemed to back off, his texts becoming less frequent, but the tone to them seemed sad. Shachi however leaned into it more. That hurt you the most, his consistent double and sometimes triple texts as he tried to get your attention. The 'hey are you still there? :(' texts tore at you ruthlessly. There was a day where it ripped into you too much that you had to briefly block his number; only when you unblocked did you see his text of 'I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry (Y/n)...'. Shachi never texted you again. You cried yourself to sleep that night.

College was no better. Because you were distancing your texts so much, both Penguin and Shachi tried to catch your attention in the classes you shared with them. You pretended like you didn't notice, only giving them a smile when they came into class and then focusing intensely on the lectures. You knew they were still watching; you could see them stealing wistful glances in your direction through every class. At the end of class, your things were always prepacked and you made sure to leave quickly before they could catch you. Shachi gave up quickly, a gloom hovering around him every English class, but Penguin was persistent. He'd sometimes catch you at the door and ask where you've been or if you wanted to get dinner. Do something, anything. But you always smiled and told him you were busy studying for finals and quickly excused yourself. Soon, Penguin stopped trying as well. He'd come into class and wouldn't even look at you, sitting in his seat and just frowning down at his desk.

It was rough. A part of you wanted to cave and go talk to them, but you worried they'd be too mad at you now to even look at you. Your own feelings weren't doing much better. You thought, like with all guys that had chased you before, putting distance would kill any little crush you'd formed within a few days. But weeks had passed and instead of you moving on, you only felt more pain. You wanted to see them. You missed Penguin's silvery laugh and his deep jade eyes that you could fall into forever. You missed Shachi's sunlit smile and amber eyes that made your heart race. You missed both of them terribly, no one more than the other.

In your desperation for some solace, you sought comfort from Ace who was only too happy to offer himself to you, but it didn't help. If anything it made you feel worse. He couldn't even put you in the mood and you ended up having to push him away. You spent the night with him giving you little shoulder rubs and playing with your hair while you switched between crying and spilling your heart to him. Regardless of Ace being a player, he had a soft spot for you and was willing to be whatever you needed from him at that moment.

Right before the last week of classes, you noticed Shachi stopped coming to English class. A day passed, then three; eventually a whole week had gone by and you hadn't seen him once. Classes were over and you'd already driven yourself home, but you didn't catch even a hint of rust colored hair or that navy blue orca hat. You wondered if he was doing okay. It was a Friday after all.

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