NOT THE SAME (DUSKWOOD FANFIC SERIES)

GOOD ACCIDENTS

A hollow laugh escapes me "You are joking, right?"

He removes his hand from my shoulder and steps back "we don't have time for this right now."

I watch him gather his things and slip his bag on his shoulder so calmly, without looking at me he takes my hand and starts walking. His hand is warm and in the lightest shade of pink, surprisingly his grip is gentle compared to his face. I didn't know where he was taking me as my whole attention was on my hand in his. I somehow felt... safe. I know he wasn't interested in me. He didn't even want to see me again, he is doing this because he thought he owed me. This realization made me want to die. And the fact that I still loved him made me feel so foolish.

After a few minutes of walking through a narrow road that seemed endless, he suddenly stops.

"Jake? What happe-" Before I could finish, he turns to me and puts a finger to his lips. Leaving my hand, he walks a few steps peeping cautiously towards the turn of the road.

Then without moving he gestures towards a black jeep on the side of the road "Get in."

I do as he says without any question. He follows me and gets in too.

"Don't tell me you are going to drive all the way to Duskwood." I say, leaning to the seat.

He ignores my comment and keeps on driving like he knows the road pretty well. Had he memorized the directions? How could he know the right way without using GPS? he wasn't even from around here. The man is so weird.

Having gotten sick of the silence in the car, I try making a conversation again "Have you got nothing to say to me?"

When he doesn't reply, I go back to staring out of the window but after a while, he speaks "I'm sorry we had to meet this way."

"At least we met this way," I mumble, hoping he wouldn't catch what I had just said.

Surprisingly, he speaks again in a low voice "How have you been?"

How could he ask me such a question so casually? He must've thought I had forgotten him and everything that happened during Hannah's disappearance.

Wait. What if he thought my feelings had changed? What if he thinks I had moved on? and that's why is acting so distant and strange? Ugh.

"We are going to get in a really bad accident if you keep staring at me like that." He says, without moving his eyes from the road ahead.

That's when I realize I had been staring at him. I look away quickly, embarrassed "There's nothing like a bad accident. All accidents are bad. The definition itself says it."

This time he looks right at me when he says "Not all accidents are bad." His eyes are softer this time.

I sit up straight and I feel like my heart would burst any second so I stare at my hands hoping they would stop shivering. After a few seconds pass, I gather up all my courage to ask him "For example?"

"What?" He scratches his neck and I can't help looking at him.

I bit my lip "You just said that there are good accidents. What did you mean by that?"

"Just forget what I said."

"Do you ever smile, Jake?"

"I have no reason to smile." He says, blankly.

"That's sad." My mouth blurts out before I think.

He replies "It is."

"Then why don't you find reasons to smile about?"

His jaw clenches.

Shit. I should think before I speak. I whisper a "sorry" and decide it was better to remain quiet now. I didn't know what was going on in his life. I barely knew anything about him so I had no right to ask him personal questions.

I kept on checking the news every day specifically about hackers. I remembered how worried I had been all the time, hoping he had escaped and he was safe somewhere. Right now, he was here beside me I felt relieved. Soon, sleep engulfs me.

I must've had a nightmare because when I woke up, I find Jake with a worried look on his face. I feel his hand on my cheek and the other hand on mine. When my vision adjusts, I find myself on a bed. I groan, as I try sitting up and then realize the throbbing pain in my head.

Jake sets the pillow against the headboard as he helps me up "You were screaming."

He gets up and hands me a bottle of water. I take it "Where are we?"

He returns beside me "In a motel."

"How long did I sleep?" I ask, taking in my surroundings. It was a comfortable room, with two large windows right in front of me, a beige couch on the left, and a wooden table to its side with Jake's laptop and equipment, that indicated he was working. The whole room was a pretty blue color, so it was very early in the morning.

"Five hours and ten minutes, to be exact." He answers.

I put my head on my knees, covering my face. I wonder how I looked right now. My last night's makeup must be a mess and with Jake staring at me right now, I hoped I didn't look very bad.

He asks softly "Are you okay?"

I nod "Just a headache. It'll go away soon."

That's when it hit me. So, I was in his car when I slept and now I'm in a motel... He carried me here?!

It seemed he read my mind because he says "A while after you had gone to sleep, I thought a break would be better and we weren't in grave danger so..." his voice trails off.

"Thank you." I smile at him.

He smiles back. Not a kind of smile that shows off your teeth, it was not even a proper smile, just a genuine slight stretch of his lips with complete warmness.

Then I realize how close we are sitting. I don't know what gets over me, I move back from him and get off the bed from the other side.

As awkward silence fills in, I spot a door which I guess is probably the bathroom. I walk towards it and I could feel his eyes on me which increases my heartbeat, now I can feel it hammering on my chest.

"I'll go wash up." Without sparing him another look, I get in the bathroom and shut the door.

"Oh my god." I mouth.

I felt like a silly teenage girl now, the heart fluttering when a guy smiles at you and the feeling of butterflies in my stomach when his skin touches yours. My heart had never been this active for a long time now. I wish there was a button I could press to stop feeling stuff when I was with him. I knew I loved him and he was never going to feel the same way, this time I let myself cry.